The flatulence inducing gunk that was once inside orange crust is then rendered down in the home's largest pan to form a slurry. This is then left for a few days till it solidifies and becomes a breeding ground for moulds and fungi at which point it is chiselled out and thrown on the compost.
It is getting darker now and the local Co-op will soon be starting its annual pumpkin sale extravaganza - BOGOF.
I don't even want ONE! Why would I buy one to get another for nothing? Right. I am shutting the doors, drawing the curtains and pinning my own BOG-OFF note to the gate.




