Darn pumpkins

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Darn pumpkins

Postby Workingman » 31 Oct 2015, 15:15

Thousands of acres of good arable land go under this disgusting crop every year. Once harvested these hideous orange blobs are sold to gullible parents who hollow them out and cut scary faces in them so that a candle shines through. Horrible children dressed head to toe in plastic bat's wings, spider's webs and pointy hats then drag them round the houses begging for sweets.

The flatulence inducing gunk that was once inside orange crust is then rendered down in the home's largest pan to form a slurry. This is then left for a few days till it solidifies and becomes a breeding ground for moulds and fungi at which point it is chiselled out and thrown on the compost.

It is getting darker now and the local Co-op will soon be starting its annual pumpkin sale extravaganza - BOGOF.

I don't even want ONE! Why would I buy one to get another for nothing? Right. I am shutting the doors, drawing the curtains and pinning my own BOG-OFF note to the gate.

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby saundra » 31 Oct 2015, 15:21

I hate Halloween a stupid American idea that's over here
I shall do the same as WM ignore it
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby Gal » 31 Oct 2015, 15:44

Oh dear....not a fan WM?

Live and let live is my motto, it's only one night a year and the littlies get a lot of fun out of it :D I have a stash of 'ket' (chews, parma violets, lollipops etc etc) in readiness for said littlies calling later after dark.

It's November 5th I dread......(and from tonight until C******** tbh) for the loud fireworks :| :evil:
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby Rodo » 31 Oct 2015, 16:17

Fortunately we didn't get any trick-a-treaters in the past 2 years and I'm not expecting any tonight. In the past we have had some slight damage done and things go missing at Halloween.

The thing that I couldn't understand was opening the door at about 8.30 or even 9 at night to see one very small child on its own knocking. There was no adult or older child anywhere around. I really couldn't understand how parents could allow children that young go round knocking at houses on their own like that - so very dangerous.
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby saundra » 31 Oct 2015, 16:48

We always used to Bill loved it and when the boys were growing up it wasn't such a big
Thing in those days
November 5was better
But now I'm on my own I won't answer the door

Times change I'm afraid :roll:
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby Workingman » 31 Oct 2015, 17:58

It is not Halloween I dislike so much, we used to call it "Mischief Night" and it was great fun, it's the pumpkins - the worlds most useless vegetable.
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby Kaz » 31 Oct 2015, 18:31

Gal wrote:Oh dear....not a fan WM?

Live and let live is my motto, it's only one night a year and the littlies get a lot of fun out of it :D I have a stash of 'ket' (chews, parma violets, lollipops etc etc) in readiness for said littlies calling later after dark.

It's November 5th I dread......(and from tonight until C******** tbh) for the loud fireworks :| :evil:


Couldn't have put it better myself!!! I put a sign on the front door (they won't knock around here unless you have some sort of Halloween signage showing)and a big tin of Haribo-style sweets near the front door for the kiddies :lol: So far we've had skeletons, witches, Alice in Wonderland and a Star Wars stormtrooper :shock: :D :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby Diflower » 31 Oct 2015, 18:43

We've had lots of little witches etc this year :D
Bb's brilliant with them :)

I love fireworks too :D
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby Workingman » 31 Oct 2015, 18:47

It's not about Halloween..... it's about chuffin' pumpkins.

They are inedible glop and would not be grown if it was not for Halloween. Totally useless orange balls of mould habitat. They even make turnips seem tasty. :roll: ;) :shock: :shock: :shock:

Muesli is exciting and delicious by comparison. :P

At least on Bonfire Night we get fireworks and roast spuds - with butter.
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Re: Darn pumpkins

Postby Kaz » 31 Oct 2015, 19:08

OOhhhh! Spuds, roasted in the embers of the bonfire, slathered in butter! Now you're talking!!!! :D :D :D 8-)
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