I am still here

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I am still here

Postby debih » 02 Dec 2014, 17:55

I keep posting the odd post and reading the odd thread - my brain is like a sieve at the moment though and not much is going in!

I'm starting to lose that "head just above the water" feeling and feel as though I am on top of things again.

Micks annual accounts are finished and I dropped them with the accountant this afternoon; I am half way through his VAT return and that should be finished and sent in by the end of this week; all the paperwork that had to be completed in regards to Dads death is done; I had the order of services printed today; I have typed up mums words that the vicar is going to say and emailed them to the vicar ready for next week; I have written, typed up and emailed my speech to the vicar; I have written a letter to my cousin (who we don't want to know about dads death until after the funeral because we don't want her or her mum there) and although dated it 22nd November I won't be posting it until 10th December so we can then comment that it must have got lost in the post; I have written all my Christmas cards and put stamps on them ready to post after the funeral; I have checked all the xmas presents and found that I only have one left to buy and now just need to put time aside to get wrapping. I feel as though I am starting to surface from a fog.

The cremation is tomorrow at 2.50pm. I'm going to work in the morning - I need to keep busy. Mum, me, Mick, Diane and Roy are going over together and Micks parents are meeting us there. And thats the lot of us for the crem. Apart from the vicar.

Mum in law has really annoyed me so I am avoiding her at the moment! I know she means well but she is so frustrating sometimes. She wanted my mum to go out for lunch with them first - just three of them (mum, mum in law and father in law) and then they take her on to the crem. Mum said no as a) she knew she wouldn't be able to eat anything and b) she wanted to go to the crem with me and my sister. So mum in law suggested going for something to eat after and when mum commented that it would all be over by 3pm so perhaps that was a bit too early mum in law suggested going and doing some Christmas shopping between going from the crem to get a meal. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil:

Needless to say, she isn't going for a jolly shopping trip after the crem - we (me, sister, Mick, Roy and mum - no idea what in laws are doing) are going back to my mums for a coffee, and S is going to join us there after school (L is going to her friends house and then on to Guides).

So I am around and about - I haven't left you all. I just seem to have so much to do in RL that my poor cyber friends are being neglected. But never fear,

I WILL BE BACK... :D :D :D
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone!
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Re: I am still here

Postby saundra » 02 Dec 2014, 18:05

you are doing really well
the paper work is awfull to complete in its self
everything seems all done
its the emotion that has to be kept together
and tomorrow will be difficult for you all and a church service next week
as for your MIL well is she of here trolley
just you and yours take care xxx
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Re: I am still here

Postby tonicha » 02 Dec 2014, 18:13

You'll get there Debih. Just keep peddling.

Have a hug for tomorrow, you know we'll all be with you anyway xxx

And I wonder how your mil would feel if the boot was on the other foot?
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Re: I am still here

Postby molly » 02 Dec 2014, 19:06

Glad to see things are getting better Debih. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
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Re: I am still here

Postby JoM » 02 Dec 2014, 19:26

Been thinking about you Deb, and you'll all be in my thoughts tomorrow xxx

As for your mother in law, I'm sitting here with my WTFlip face on. Christmas shopping?
Image
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Re: I am still here

Postby Osc » 02 Dec 2014, 19:46

You've been on my mind Debih, and sending vibes that all goes well tomorrow. Sometimes it's focussing on what needs to be done that gets us through times like these, but please do look after yourself as grief can strike at any time, even months down the road xxx
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Re: I am still here

Postby Kaz » 02 Dec 2014, 20:50

Nice to see you Debih, and I'm glad you are feeling more on top of things ((((((((((((((((((((x)))))))))))))))))))

Your MIL is either completely bonkers (shopping just after cremating your husband???) or a bit callous................... :o :shock:
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Re: I am still here

Postby Aggers » 02 Dec 2014, 22:04

Don't worry. Debih.

We do understand, and are thoughts are with you.

XXX
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Re: I am still here

Postby Workingman » 02 Dec 2014, 22:17

Yes, Debih, we do understand. It cannot be an easy time for you and the family with all of this going on.

XXX
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Re: I am still here

Postby Diflower » 02 Dec 2014, 23:03

You're fine Debih, just as you should be right now (((xx)))
As for mil, she's trying but getting it very wrong - don't be too hard on her x

Hopefully in the next couple of weeks, you will find time for memories, and reflection.
And actually, Christmas coming up isn't so bad, it's a time for families, and you said you go to the church service, that'll be nice.
There may be one near you that does a special 'light a candle' event as well?
We're all thinking of you and holding your hand xx
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