Figures of Speech

[cruiser2]

1 Where there's a Will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it is still on my list
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agree with you, we'd both be wrong.
5 We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.
6 War does not determine who is right--only who is left
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application form, where it says; In case of emergency notify: I put "DOCTOR".
11Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
12 You do not need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachurte to sky dive twice.
13I used to be indeceisive. Now I am not sure
14 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you have hit the target
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage make you a car.
16. You are never too old to learn something stupid
17.I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's gettong harder and harder for me to find one now.

[Workingman]

Some very funny.

And a few quite poignant.

[Aggers]

One or two of those made me chuckle -

which is something at this time of the evening.

[JoM]

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agree with you, we'd both be wrong.

[Diflower]

Some good ones there Cruiser

[molly]

4. If I agree with you, we'd both be wrong.

Now that one I have used………and it has gone totally over the other persons head which only goes to show he wasn't listening anyway.

[Kaz]

Great stuff