Taking the thinking out of living

[Workingman]

I am reading an article about letting your smartphone control your CH. It can detect how far you are away from home so it can switch the heating on so that your home is nice and cosy as you step through the door. It can even turn radiators off in rooms you are not using.

Driverless cars are only a year or so away. You get in, give it the postcode of where you want to be, then it will zip you there in complete safety while you read the paper or take a nap: possibly.

Then there are the new meals services. You tell them how much weight you want to lose, and over how long, and they will deliver meals to your door ready portioned and calorie counted to the nth decimal place. All you have to do is remember to walk past Greggs, miss out the chocky and biscuits aisle, and only order skiny lattes.

I was going to invent a "get you up, get you dressed, brush your teeth" gizmo, but then I saw that Wallace and Gromit had beaten me to it.

[Workingman]

How about a watch that tells you your pulse, BP and breathing rate? The executive version informs you if you are alive or dead.

Then there's the fridge which e-mails your favourite delivery service to tell them what you are getting low on. Unfortunately some of them have been hacked and are spamming all and sundry with news about your slack living (true).

[Kaz]

[Workingman]

There's a £5,000 bed to cure snoring!

I thought that it might pinch your nose evrey so often, but no, it monitors your every moment in bed: constantly - a bit too intrusive for my liking. It can firm the bed up or shuffle the snorer about until they stop.

I found that a good belt with a frying pan worked wonders on her..... and so cheaply too.

[Kaz]

Every movement?

Mind you if I had £5k spare it might be worth it, Mick has become a snorer in the last couple of years What brand of frying pan..........................?

[Workingman]

Every movement?

Mind you if I had £5k spare it might be worth it, Mick has become a snorer in the last couple of years What brand of frying pan..........................?

Tefal red spot are good, but the cheap Asda versions are pretty well made and do the job.........

[Kaz]

[Workingman]

It gets better......

There is a cooker with a tablet PC built into the control panel. Now you ladies can prepare your man's dinner and do all those girly internet things - facebook, shopping - all from the same place. This has to be the multi-tasking tool of the future.

[Workingman]

Ooops, I might have got that wrong!

There is a thing called a "Belkin Crock-Pot Web Mo Smart Slow Cooker". A "slow" cooker you can "quickly" control with your smartphone. This has to be the ultimate kitchen gadget.

[Aggers]

Mick has become a snorer in the last couple of years What brand of frying pan..........................?

A few empty cotton reels sewn on the back of his pajama jacket would be cheaper and more effective, Kaz.
Safer, too - you might sprain your wrist wielding a frying pan.