Finding Mum and Dad

[debih]

Are they really the best thing for the children d you think Debih? It worried me that they might feel rejected if they aren't chosen
I know the Mail are dreadful at putting a spin on such stories though.........................

They have been a huge success here Kaz. There are two types of events - one usually held in an evening where videos are played for prospective adopters to see and the child's SW (and sometimes foster parent) are there for them to meet.

Other events are held at weekends and children are at these. They don't know that some of the people there are prospective adopters - they just think it is a foster fun day.

The amount of people we have come to panel to be matched with children they have seen at these events is very high. And most of the time the children are nothing like the ones they expected to see themselves with - they are usually older than they expected to adopt or are a sibling group rather than a single child.

So yes, for Derbyshire it definitely makes a huge difference.

[Kaz]

So the children are totally unaware? If so then I feel a bit happier about it

[Workingman]

It was one of the most painful programmes that I have ever watched. There was the core of a good idea in the Adoption Activity Days, but it did not seem to be working as planned.

The children did appear to know that they were in the shop window for their "Forever Family" and when they were not chosen it must have had an impact on them: that was not explored enough. Daniel and Connor's Social Worker appeared to be as about useful as a chocolate poker. The foster mother, Katy, who was so supportive and loving, also appeared to feel that it was her job to let the boys know that they would be not with her forever. Maybe that was a defence mechanism on her part.

It was an eye opener, but not in the way I had hoped.

[debih]

I haven't seen it yet so can't comment on the programme.

But can say that the foster careers have to tell children that they won't be with them forever as they need to be aware of this to prepare them for when a move does happen. If they don't prepare the child for a move then it would come as a huge shock and would have a massive impact on future attachments which on turn could result in an adoption breakdown. Even from a very young age the children are told that they will be moving on at some point. It is a big part of the foster careers job.

[Kaz]

No wonder so many children from Care end up on the streets or in the criminal justice system.................All that upheaval and uncertainty all the time. I did watch a little bit despite saying I wouldn't, but got upset Frank I saw the bit where the boys were being prepared for their first Party and you are right, they were made aware of what was going to happen - they knew they were going there to be 'chosen' or not, and I found that pitiful

Those little boys were absolutely adorable!! If children like that aren't 'chosen' then all I can say is that the system in that county must be running for the benefit of the adults rather than the children

[Workingman]

Debih, thanks for that info, it's a shame it wasn't explained like that in the programme.

Kaz, I think the foster mother, Katy, hit the nail on the head when she said that it was "a buyers market". Reality is that there are more children than prospective adopters and until that is addressed the problems will always be with us.

[debih]

Interesting. One of the social workers sitting on our panel today feels that she has a couple that she says she can see with those two little boys.

She was intending on contacting the boys agency about them this afternoon.

I'm just watching the programme now. We were all talking about it at panel.

[Kaz]

Oh Debih that would be marvellous!!! They are gorgeous - bright as buttons - I do so hope some good comes out of that programme for them

I can imagine that everyone was talking about it! xx

[Kaz]

Kaz, I think the foster mother, Katy, hit the nail on the head when she said that it was "a buyers market". Reality is that there are more children than prospective adopters and until that is addressed the problems will always be with us.

I know Frank, but doesn't your heart ache for them xx

[debih]

Those little boys were absolutely adorable!! If children like that aren't 'chosen' then all I can say is that the system in that county must be running for the benefit of the adults rather than the children

They might look adorable but you can't tell by looking at them what their background is. The family finding events are for children who are hard to place. Lots of them have a family history of mental illness - not attractive to potential adopters. You only have to see the word schizophrenia mentioned in a child's file and no matter how cute they are you know they will be nigh on impossible to find a family for.