Sometimes I wondered who I wronged....

[miasmum]

I completely agree with Saundra. Suff you only have one life, and in that life we have choices. You choose to work as hard as you do, to push yourself as hard as you do. Of course your body will rebel. Saundra's Bill should be with her now and he isn't. You are an intelligent man, you know the choices you are making

[Kaz]

I'm always telling Mick, when he works too hard, that he is dispensable at work but indispensable to me! Hopefully these days it is sinking in, as he has eased back a little.......

There are always choices............

[Lozzles]

I'm always telling Mick, when he works too hard, that he is dispensable at work but indispensable to me! Hopefully these days it is sinking in, as he has eased back a little.......

There are always choices............

You are right Kaz. D had a very bad heart problem a few years ago. Fortunately all was well, but he does have a leaky valve which will need replacing at some point.
Stress certainly does not help matters and work was getting him down, so he has now reduced his hours and works a 3 day week (unless he is on a work trip). Okay, less money, but I would sooner have that than a stressed out husband...or no husband

[Kaz]

Absolutely! I remember D's heart problems and am glad he's cut back so much xx

Mick has/had high BP and cholesterol which are now under control, he can't go part time but has cut back on the call out and leaves his desk earlier when he can

[lissie]

I wasn't going to get involved with this post as the poster infuriates me
My husband gets on as best he can and never moans or feels
sorry for himself but as he has had a heart attack, bypass, 4 strokes and a
stent fitted he could be forgiven for feeling sorry for himself
I wonder if Suff perhaps has no one to talk to about his "ailments"
or perhaps people have got tired of hearing about them.
We were led to believe he had heart trouble (now he says his heart is OK)
He rightly or wrongly chose his lifestyle so why moan all the time about
how hard everything is for him.
I think the poor man just wants someone (his other half perhaps) to praise
him and thank him for working so hard to provide for them.
Just simmer yourself down and stand back and smell the roses as the saying
goes.

lissie

[Fugitive]

I wondered this as well Lissie. Does your partner listen and sympathise Suff? VV is a very warm and welcoming place to share problems, happy things, sad things as always so much support and advice offered. But it looks like you are getting a deserved telling off here. We had to sell a very successful growing business when my husband was getting too ill to cope. In doing that we had a struggle financially but he lived a few years longer and we shared some chilled and happy years together before he died at fifty.

It was quite a challenge living on a very much reduced income, dreading even a minor thing like having to replace a broken kettle. A forced very early retirement but the best thing we ever did - never have done it if he had remained fit. Listen to everyone Suff. Take care.

[pederito1]

I, too have forgiven you Suff and hope that giving vent to your feelings on here can help to destress you. But I did tell you to get a NEW car and get proper cardiac advice some years ago. Boyos can even fix digital speedos now and I would almost never believe the reading on a second hand vehicle unless I actually knew the owner. Which reminds me thank you, my cam belt is now over four years old and is overdue I must get it replaced very quickly.

[cruiser2]

Suff, I must agree with some of the other posts, you are working too hard and too long without any rest or enjoyment. I retired in 1996 and am still fairly active, going to the gym three mornings each week and dancing three or four times as well. My wife will only let me do so much each day. I am now forbidden to climb ladders. Have had to buy a long extending pole to clean the bedroom windows at the back of the house.
My wife's first husband died of a heart attack. She was driving the car when it happened. He had never been ill in his life. He was only 45 and was an inspector on the railway.
You are not getting enough regular sleep and rest between your working week and you do not seem to have regular hours.

[Suff]

Thanks to those who gave them for the kind words.

Before I leave let me say a few words about some assumptions here.

1. I was a mechanic for 7 years. I have been working with mechanical things all my life. When I was 15 I was given a moped as a box of bits and rolling frame. At 16 I rode it to school all without a manual. This is my heritage.

2. My wife and I have driven these engines for 20 years now. We have racked up, between us, over half a million miles. These engines do _not_ break their cam belts at 39,000 miles. Ever.

I posted the original post for those who know me and actually like me or like to hear what I'm doing.

I suggest anyone else who doesn't like my posts does exactly what I do with the posts I don't like. Ignore them. I make no apologies for that statement and everyone is free to do as they wish, including abuse my posts. You should all know my attitude to that now. I grew up a long time ago.

Thanks, again, to those who gave them for the kind words.

For those who are interested, my MRI results show two things.

1. that my heart works perfectly at the moment and that the heart wall is a little thick.
2. that when stressed I immediately go into the beginning ssymptoms of cardiac arrest. Starting with indigestion feelings moving on to crushing weight in my chest, pain in my neck, nausea and dizziness and near blackout. The cardiologists and Nurses had never seen anything like it, I could tell them to the second when and how much the adenosine was flowing into my system.

That is now between me and my cardiologists. It Is my cardiovascular system and I will be directing him to do the work I want him to do. After all, I'm paying him.

That is my last word on this subject. I shall not post about it again.



Work is next. I've decided it's ultimatum time for them. True, nobody is indispensable. But if I were not there, the project would have to be put on hold for 2-4 weeks at a cost of about £6000 or so a day until they could find a replacement for me. I may not be indispensable but my role is and it would take that long to replace it.


For those who have made some kinds of suggestions that I'm attention seeking. When I called Mrs S to tell her that I had broken down she was furious. The first words out of her mouth were that this was a disaster as I would not be there to finish the plasterboarding and that she'd now have to cancel the plasterers and that the living room would not be done for Christmas. At no point did she show one second of concern that I was broken down on the side of the road. I left her with a few choice words about the fact that I was the one sitting on the side of the road, broken down with a car full of stuff, late at night with no idea when, or if, I would get recovered that night and she was sitting at home in comfort. I have had nothing but surly behaviour on the phone since and simple statements that it's all my fault.

If you can now envision my current frame of mind, you might understand the post above. I have an engine, I have a garage to fit it, I've signed all the paperwork, paid the money, been to the garage and should, with a whim and a prayer, have the car back next week. Some of my colleagues are incredibly impressed about my ability to get this done in a day, after breaking down and being recovered near midnight, clearly others are harder to impress!

Not that I have ever cared whether people are impressed with me or not. I simply could not care less, I am who I am and you take me as I come. Don't like me or what I say? No concern to me, I'll either take on the comment or just ignore it and move on. I have a small circle of friends because of this but they are very loyal and extremely true friends. As for attention seeking? Clearly those who say this do not know me at all. For those who do know me, I generally talk in a fairly quiet voice. I hate raising my voice in company and I have to drive myself really hard to do the leading and management roles I do at work. I hate public speaking or public attention. In fact I'm most happy when left alone to do my own thing. My only real communication vice is talking on forums to people and talking about news or events and the ramifications of what is going on in the world around us.

As for tat and trivia? I only put up with it on things like Strictly which I view for the dancing, all the rest is just annoying baubles for me.

Enough, I'm tired and I still have stuff to do. I also need to get my irritation down.

Now I'm going away. Feel free to discuss, decide whether I'm rude or not, whatever.

[cromwell]

Suff, I'd just like to say that I hope inbetween work and Mrs Suff that you can get some decent down time, if that's what you like. Because I think it would do you good.
I agree about the cam belt; 39,000 miles isn't a lot of miles - but how old was the car? Because sometimes age can do for them as much as mileage.
Anyway, all the best and look after yourself.