Grrrrrr

[debih]

I am really pee'd off!

A friend of ours constantly borrows our large inflatable bed. It is one of those queen size ones that you plug into the mains and it inflates and makes a really comfortable bed.

I don't have a problem with her borrowing it as we rarely use it but it has now been at her house for well over a year. I did get it back from her about two months ago as I needed to use it but then she borrowed it again the following weekend and hasn't bought it back (possibly because she has used it again since).

She comes from Norfolk and her family and friends often come up to say. She moved into a new house about 18 months ago which has two bedrooms and two lounges. As she had moved from a small one bedroomed place she didn't have much furniture - hence my saying she could borrow the bed whenever she wanted. But by now I did assume that she would be fully kitted out for her friends and family coming to stay. When she first moved in she said she was going to get twin beds with pullouts for the second bedroom and a sofa bed for the second lounge.

Anyway, I decided that I was getting rather pee'd off with her having it all the time so sent her a text earlier in the week (Monday I think) saying that I needed it and could I nip down for it on Thursday (I was going to ask her to drop it off here but she also has loads of my dvd's which I want back and last time I asked for the bed and dvd's she only bought the bed so I decided that if I fetched it from her I could get the dvd's at the same time). She sent me a text back to say that she was away on Thursday but would let me know when she was around. I never heard anything from her so text her again on Thursday night - only to get a reply saying that she wasn't back until after the weekend and would let me know then.

I am so cross. I know I don't actually need the bed but she doesn't know that. For all she knows I could have people staying this weekend and need it myself.

When I do get it back I don't really want to lend it her again as I know that she will just keep it for ages (as she uses it at least twice a month) but I feel as though I am being really petty saying no when it is just sitting in our attic, doing nothing.

If I do say that I can't lend it to her I feel as though I need to give her an excuse and don't know what to say! I suppose I could say that I have lent it to someone else and not got it back yet but I can't do that forever.

Am I being petty? We only use it once or twice a year.

[Rodo]

Tell her that, because you don't have a lot of use for it yourself you are thinking of selling it and would she like to buy it!

There's an old saying "Neither a borrower nor a lender be". It's good advice. It does prevent these sort of situations. Maybe you are too generous for your own good.

[debih]

Ah but that might come back and bite me on the bum and she might say yes, she will buy it!

Although we rarely use it, it does come in useful on the few occasions that we do.

And I have learnt my lesson - I rarely lend anything now.

[cruiser2]

Debih,
Just say it has been damaged and it is no longer serviceable. And politely ask for the return of your DVDs. Say you want to down load them onto your smartphone for your daughters.
Good luck with your negotiations.

[debih]

It makes me really cross.

I am a very reliable person to lend things to (surprisingly!!) as I borrow it, use it and get it straight back to whoever lent it to me.

I am obviously far too nice!

[Rodo]

Ah but that might come back and bite me on the bum and she might say yes, she will buy it!

Although we rarely use it, it does come in useful on the few occasions that we do.

And I have learnt my lesson - I rarely lend anything now.

You could borrow it from her then!

[Diflower]

I was going to suggest asking her if she wanted to buy it too, but then you'd be left without.
Once you've got it back, let it be known that the girls have 'booked' it for friends of theirs maybe?
Or even invent someone else entirely that is going to be borrowing it for the next few months

[debih]

Ah but that might come back and bite me on the bum and she might say yes, she will buy it!

Although we rarely use it, it does come in useful on the few occasions that we do.

And I have learnt my lesson - I rarely lend anything now.

You could borrow it from her then!

LOL.

[debih]

I think I might go down the "its broken" route.

I could say that when we used it and went to deflate it it went bang - it does plug into the electrics after all.

I don't want to say that it was broken when we went to inflate it as I don't want her to think that she broke it.

I will also mention to her that they have some in sale in Lidl at the moment. Not as good as ours but good enough.

[debih]

I was going to suggest asking her if she wanted to buy it too, but then you'd be left without.
Once you've got it back, let it be known that the girls have 'booked' it for friends of theirs maybe?
Or even invent someone else entirely that is going to be borrowing it for the next few months

Thats a better idea Di - I can say that friends have borrowed it for a while and make up some ficticious reason.

I know I could just say no, you can't borrow it. It is mine after all. But that just feels mean.

And I do think that it will get used more soon - S is off to a friends house tonight for a sleepover (6 of them altogether) and her bedroom is big enough for us to get that many in. She has a single futon and we can easily get that in and the inflatable double and an inflatable single along side her own bed.