Day 2 in the Debih Strike House

[saundra]

yes i agree children should keep there bedrooms tidy and help with chores
but not make there own meals or packed lunches
and i would never expect my husband to come home from work
and get his own tea
its different times im afraid imo

[JoM]

To be honest I'd rather cook for them all and get their lunches done rather than have all three of them let loose in MY kitchen Tom cooks but I always have to give the kitchen a going over afterwards even though he'll have 'tidied'.

[meriad]

yes i agree children should keep there bedrooms tidy and help with chores
but not make there own meals or packed lunches
and i would never expect my husband to come home from work
and get his own tea
its different times im afraid imo

I think one of the major differences these days is that more often than not, both partners have to work... I 100% agree that if someone is a stay at home wife /mom (stay at home husband / dad) then yes most things should fall onto the person at home and rightly so; but not if both are working full time. Then chores need to be equally split and everyone needs to take on more responsibility

[debih]

I do the bulk of the housework and chores - I work part time and so therefore am happy to do so. I do the majority of the cooking - I do begrudge having to cook for Mick though if I don't fancy anything. The girls cook every Saturday evening and get their own breakfast (cereal) and occasionally their own tea (if they want to).

I do everyones packed lunches although again, it does make me angry that it never crosses Mick's mind to do them. I rarely take a packed lunch as I come home most lunchtimes or finish at 2pm so eat when I get home but last night, even though I was out he never gave it a thought to make his own packed lunch, let alone the girls.

I don't have a problem at all about doing all the housework - as I said, I only work part time.

What I do get cross about is that everyone seems to think that I am just here to pick up after them! Why should it only be me that thinks to replace the toilet roll, to pick the wet towels up off the floor, put pots in the dishwasher and turn it on, put their dirty washing in the washer, bring the washing in if it is going dark/raining. It gets me so annoyed - I am their wife/mother - not their personal slave.

[Diflower]

yes i agree children should keep there bedrooms tidy and help with chores
but not make there own meals or packed lunches
and i would never expect my husband to come home from work
and get his own tea
its different times im afraid imo

Oh no I didn't mean children should make their own dinners Saundra Mind you, when they're at home for lunch (weekends, holidays) they should certainly be able to make themselves a sandwich or some toast.
I can't agree it's different times though really. My mum and dad left home together, at 8am; he dropped her off near work and most days collected her as well, so they arrived home together. Both worked in office jobs.

So how come it was then all right for him to come in and sit in his armchair, while she made him a cup of tea and then went straight back to the kitchen to start dinner? And why did she have to get up first so she could make his packed lunch?
Not much has changed, it's just the same now in an awful lot of households, and it's plain wrong!

If one half's not working that's different, but all the same, if the stay-at-home one was out the other should be able to fend for themselves once in a while.

[Diflower]

Forgot to add, yes Debih that's what I meant, the not being a drudge/slave/the only person capable of thinking about any of it.

[Kaz]

I am only working two days, soon to become one while Mick works long hours and B studies very hard, so I expect to do most of the cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. Mick to be fair to him will do things if I ask, without complaining, but I have to ask as otherwise it doesn't cross his radar. Becky is similar TBH although she makes her own packed lunches - at 17 I should think so - and makes herself sandwiches, the odd meal etc sorts her laundry or it doesn't get done - however she is about to hit a huuuuge learning curve when she goes to uni as the washing/ironing/cleaning fairy is staying here

If I worked more days or full time I would expect everything to be shared out fairly!

Good luck Debih, you've lasted longer than I would

[saundra]

i went into a marrige of 45 years and was like your mum dif it was normal
i never expected anything different
in later years B did do a bit more but never cooked a meal or much h/w
my boys are both great in there relationships im pleased to say
and do alsorts
one thing B did was washup tho no dishwashers in my day

[Kaz]

Saundra my dad had no idea how to do anything other than make a cuppa or a slice of toast. He went, aged 17, straight from being spoiled rotten by his nan to being spoiled rotten by my mum When Mum went into hospital for a few weeks, about 6 or 7 years ago, my sister had to go round and put post-it notes on the washer, drier, oven etc as he didn't have a clue

[Kaz]

Oh I forgot, he did wash up once a year, after Christmas Dinner - regular as clockwork

Mind you my mum never worked more than part time and that wasn't for the whole of their married life, mostly when J and I were teenagers