Another Load of Cobblers ....

For the chaps here

Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby TheOstrich » 03 Jul 2021, 18:46

Yes, the Ostrich's footy blog is back! :D

--------------------

“So, what ever happened to the Silly Ogs,” queried Ossie.

And that is indeed today's unanswered question! :shock:

Croesyceiliog FC, from near Cwmbran, were due to play a pre-season friendly match today at Devizes Town, and that had been the bird’s Plan A to open his 2021-22 footie season. However they apparently cried off about a week before :cry:, leaving the Wiltshire club scrambling around trying to find replacement opposition. No reason seems to have been forthcoming – or made public, anyway – but it can’t have been Covid in the squad as they happily played a game last Tuesday evening. I believe that the Football Association of Wales don’t allow spectators at games at the moment, and maybe Croesy had been told not to travel to a “different country”, but even that can’t have been the reason as I’ll demonstrate below ......

Croesyceiliog translates from the Welsh as “The Cockerel’s Cross”. I should think Devizes were none too happy, either! :evil:

So, an alternative game had to be found, and after much rootlin’ around social media, I came up with another gem: Street vs Goytre United. Or was it Goytre United? :? Well, Street seemed to think so on their Twitter feed, and even referenced a link to Goytre United’s Twitter account - but Goytre United were strangely quiet on the subject. By yesterday, however, Street had corrected themselves – it was indeed Ardal South East League (Welsh Tier 3) side Goytre from Penperlleni - which sounds vaguely Italian, but is in fact a village near Pontypool :lol: - and not Tier 2 club Goytre United, who are based in Port Talbot. The message still hadn’t got through to the gate staff at the Tannery Ground by Saturday lunch-time, though, as I overheard them greeting the opposition players:

“Had a good trip from Port Talbot, then?”
“Err, no …..”
:mrgreen:

So, Ossie’s first visit to the Tannery Ground since July 2019, the home of “The Cobblers” (hence the title of this thread :D ) and it’s certainly looking very smart, spick and span. No material infrastructure changes, although I think a row of seats might have been taken out of the back of the far stand as the area in now set aside for standing spectators – I may be wrong though. The cafeteria hatch was open and an extensive menu was being offered. I arrived fairly early to ensure I secured parking under the trees alongside the main drive and received the usual warm welcome from a club I’ve always found to be friendly.

I’d come armed with a pre-printed Track and Trace form, down-loaded as requested on Street’s website. :geek: However, I wasn’t asked for it, they were just running a book of names and phone numbers, which I duly supplied, although it’s not my fault that they wrote the number down incorrectly :lol: . I did mask up to go in, but nobody else was wearing one inside the ground, and less than 100 fans in a purportedly 1,500 capacity stadium didn’t pose many problems over social distancing. The bar was open but I didn’t venture inside; instead I ordered food from the outside hatch and sat at one of the patio tables to consume it before wandering round to the far side of the ground and claiming an isolated seat in the stand.

As for the game, Goytre – who turned out to be from the same league as Croesyceiliog, so bang goes the FaW no spectators / no travelling theory - proved more than a stern test for the Cobblers, although to be fair, this was Street’s first pre-season friendly whilst Goytre already had at least four under their belt, having played throughout June.

Once the game settled down, Goytre always looked the more dangerous side, especially when their tricky left-wing forward player was getting around the back of the home defence. Street were restricted to half chances, and those attempts were easily dealt with by a very competent-looking keeper. Just when it looked like a goal-less first half was on the cards, Street’s no.10 was brought down on the edge of the area; the referee took a long hard look at the positioning of it, and awarded the spot kick. The Street player took the spot-kick himself but the shot was placed rather than wellied :roll: , and Goytre’s keeper saved low down to his right. Goytre promptly took the ball up the other end; it ricocheted around the home goalmouth, and finished up in the net. I’m not sure the player who claimed the goal knew an awful lot about it! :P :D

Street looked more purposeful at the start of the second half, and even dangerous at times, especially when they brought on one of their young substitutes up front, (I think his name was Korey Andrews, a 17 yo, and I'll be watching out for him in future), but unfortunately he sustained what looked like a wrist injury in an aerial clash with the Goytre keeper, so it was a short debut. Goytre, meanwhile, had made it 0-2 on 62m when their no.11 had juggled the ball past a defender and rocketed it home from around 15 yards out. Street kept going but simply couldn’t get anything on target today; an entertaining game but no arguing over the result of this one.

03/07/2021: Pre-Season Friendly
Street 0 Goytre 2
Admission £3 (cash or contactless), no programme.
Admission ticket doubled as a raffle ticket for a £50 prize; won by number 4, guess who had number 3 ….. :evil: :evil: :evil:
Cheeseburger £3.50, attendance 75

Finally, more lunacy from the FA. When all the restructuring was announced in June, and teams told what leagues they were going to be playing in, Ardley United and Easington Sports, from near Bicester and Banbury respectively, found themselves flung into the Hellenic League, meaning trips to Bristol, Herefordshire and Wiltshire. So they decided to appeal in the hope of getting switched to something a bit more local. I believe the conversation went something like this:

“We’d like to appeal against our placements, please.” :D
“That’s fine, it’ll be £100 for costs incurred, payable up front, non-refundable.”
“OK, here’s the money then”
“Thank you very much. Appeal denied” :twisted:
“What?! Hang on .. you haven’t heard it yet!” :o
“No appeal can be lodged after 31st March each year.”
“But …. You didn’t tell us what league we’d be in until June!”
“So what. You didn’t appeal before 31st March. Read the rules. NEXT!”

There was a happy outcome, however. The FA eventually relented, heard the appeals, and I think both clubs are now going into the South Midlands League. :D
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby Workingman » 04 Jul 2021, 11:02

Err, given the time of year shouldn't the Ostrich be padding up and getting some catching practice in? :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby Kaz » 04 Jul 2021, 14:21

Croeso, Ossie!. :D Nice to have your blog back :D 8-)
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby TheOstrich » 04 Jul 2021, 18:54

Thanks, Kaz! :D

The seasons are all over the place at the moment, WM, thanks to the Covid.
Everything is out of kilter - certainly the Welsh soccer clubs have been playing pre-season friendlies throughout June (with a view to their leagues restarting in July) which is unprecedented. English leagues are starting earlier than normal as well this year, the thinking being that the longer the "window" of the season, the more chance there is of completing all the fixtures given the inevitable virus disruption. But you can't control the virus, so we shall see what we shall see.
Err, given the time of year shouldn't the Ostrich be padding up and getting some catching practice in?

Local cricket, on the other hand, seems to have hardly got started. And Ossie says his backside is already padded enough anyway, thank you. :P
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby TheOstrich » 10 Jul 2021, 20:47

Great excitement during the week, as the local rag reported an “incident” in the town’s unisex public convenience! :o Situated down by the Town Meadow car park, and one of few now left in North Dorset, it seems a young 20-something year-old lass, possibly slightly under the influence by all accounts, had got herself irretrievably locked inside. :mrgreen: After a lot of yelling back and forth with her mates outside, and the door still firmly closed, they proceeded to summon the Fire Brigade, who were not best pleased, especially as it was less than half-an-hour before the start of Engerlund’s semi-final game on the mess-room telly! :evil:

Well, the men in helmets chiselled away at the edifice, but it still wouldn’t budge! So they were forced to give up and summon out Julie, the Town Clerk, for advice on what to do next. July duly arrives and also starts yelling:

“Have you tried pushing the BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON?”
Form inside: “What big BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON?” :shock:
THE BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON!”
“Oh, that BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON …..” :idea:

So the Big Red Emergency Button was pushed, and as it’s a door release, the door duly swung open, allowing the incarcerated occupant to emerge blinking from the depths. :lol: While the Fire Brigade and Town Clerk were mutually congratulating themselves, not wishing to get caught, the lass – and her mates – promptly legged it! Leaving around 100 squids damage to the toilet door, caused by the various assorted efforts to break the lock, and the Town Council with a £40-a-day bill to hire a Portaloo until the errant door can be fixed! :roll:

Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth, Ossie had been thinking about visiting Devizes in Wiltshire today for their friendly again against Stoke Gabriel and Torbay Police FC (which sounds straight out of “Midsomer Murders”, but is in fact the result of a merger between two Devon clubs), but with the number of Covid cases rocketing in the south-west and the resulting cancellations of soccer games ever-growing due to “virus in the camp” :? , I’m not really inclined these days to set out on a long journey if the home club hasn’t actually confirmed the wretched game’s going ahead. Devizes did duly confirm the match was on using their Twitter account - but not until it was too late for me to get up there. So, Plan B, and a gentle stroll across town to see my local town club (passing the Portaloo en-route ;) ).

This was at least my fourth “final visit” to Gillingham Town’s Hardings Lane ground :lol: , which is still soldiering on despite the fact they effectively moved out of it for pastures new must be at least two years ago now! Firstly, though, I detoured down the track to Woodwater Lane (the new ground), where I found the surrounding metal cages opened up with today’s two teams warming up alongside the pitch.

The new Woodwater ground has turned out to be a complete pig-in-a-poke. :| One of the reasons for moving from the old ground was its poor drainage, but the new pitch has turned out to be worse, simply because it has become apparent that the laying of it was, well, completely botched. A specialist survey company recommended remedial drainage work be carried out (at an eye-watering cost) as the existing installation simply wasn’t “fit for purpose”, and although this has been completed over the last couple of months, the trench lines are still visible and the ground a bit threadbare in places – it definitely needs some further TLC before the regular season opens next month. So, pre-season matches are still taking place up the hill at Hardings Lane, but the only available changing rooms are down at Woodwater, so the players then have to trek back up the lane to the old ground before kick-off. The tea bar at Woodwater was also open, putting it well in contention today for the annual Refreshment Hut Furthest From The Pitch Award – at least ¼ mile! :lol:

Floodlights are due to be installed next week at Woodwater, and they will be a brand-new, easy maintenance with LED lights generating a shedload of lux. Possibly good to get this done now, before all the NIMBYs move into the new housing development going up at the back of the ground :twisted: . The old Hardings Lane floodlights (I think I heard somewhere they were originally from the old Yeovil FC Huish ground, which means they are pretty ancient) appear to have been disabled (well I hope so, judging by the amount of loose wiring on the pylon I inspected :? ), and the town’s Social Club, next to the old ground have claimed rights over them anyway. Over the years, there has been no love lost between the Social Club and the football club, although the original cause of the antagonism is probably lost in the mists of time. I was told that if anyone did try to turn the old floods back on now, the bulbs would probably all go pop and black out half the town. :D

The original Hardings Lane stand still survives, despite the attention of the local yoof / arsonists, although with no seats, just bare concrete terracing now. That was useful today when it started to rain, although social-distancing became an issue. The dugouts have also been repainted after the arsonists turned their attention to them a few months back. There is a new hardcore pathway from the road to access the Hardings Lane pitch now, as you can no longer get in the old way via the pay hut – that route has been barricaded off by the Social Club. :P

This was Gillingham Town’s first pre-season friendly against Step 6 opposition, the level to which they have been newly-promoted, and they didn’t acquit themselves particularly well, unfortunately. Going downhill in the first half, New Milton, from the Wessex League, quickly took control and rattled in four goals in just over half an hour. The first on 5m saw a New Milton player stretch to connect with a header back across goal and poke it in at the far post with the home keeper still scrambling across. The second, on 12m, was an unchallenged turn and shot from around 10 yards out; the third (17m) a penalty low to the keeper’s right, a cast-iron award for a trip in the box; and the fourth (32m) a neat chip over the keeper’s head after a defender had been robbed of the ball in the area. Gillingham got a goal back just before the interval when Aaron Rodriguez converted a left-wing cross.

An old geezer in the stand near me kept extolling the virtues of one of Gillingham’s strikers, especially his speed down the wings. That’s all very well, but basically (a) you need to take the ball with you and (b) you then need to deliver it effectively into the box. :roll: Let’s just say he has potential ….

Well, nothing of note happened in the second half; the weather turned dreary and it started to mizzle. New Milton, a pretty decent, competent-looking side, were content to keep Gillingham at bay, whilst the Tangos huffed and puffed without looking like they’d ever get back in the game. Early days, but I doubt they’ll be amongst the Western League movers and shakers in the coming season, certainly not without a fair bit of attention to the defence …... :|

Pre-Season Friendly
Gillingham Town 1 New Milton Town 4
No admission or programme, and no refreshments today. I was going to take a banana but managed to forget it.
Attendance 29
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby Kaz » 10 Jul 2021, 20:57

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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby TheOstrich » 10 Jul 2021, 21:09

:lol: :lol: :lol: That "claymation" is fantastic!
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby Ally » 11 Jul 2021, 04:20

Great read Ossie.

When you say no refreshments...do you mean you knew there weren't going to be any?

Or are you on a health kick which would explain the banana?

Or not as it seems. :lol:

Thanks for a super report. :P
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby Workingman » 11 Jul 2021, 07:40

An old geezer in the stand near me kept extolling the virtues of one of Gillingham’s strikers, especially his speed down the wings. That’s all very well, but basically (a) you need to take the ball with you and (b) you then need to deliver it effectively into the box.

His name: Raheem Stumbling?

Kaz! :D :D :D
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Re: Another Load of Cobblers ....

Postby TheOstrich » 11 Jul 2021, 14:15

Ah, bananagate ...... :D

Definitely no refreshment facilities at the old Hardings Lane ground. I used to use the Social Club alongside it but you were paying "pub prices" like 90p for a 2-finger chocolate bar. And it was closed, and all barricaded off from the football pitch anyway now. Wasn't expecting the tea hut at the new ground to be open (I guess it was for the players, really) and I'm not really of the generation that walks around everywhere carrying a take-out coffee cup, certainly not 1/4 mile up a rutted track! :)

Thought about popping into the nearby Leisure Centre to see what they had anything but it would no doubt have been chocolate dispensed from a machine, and their Reception always looks a bit foreboding to be honest. Walk in innocently, next thing you know you're signed up for a Bounce Class. :shock:

That leaves the town's supermarkets - but they are a bit of a detour for a weary Ostrich who had walked to the ground from the Nest - or the Polish Shop on the High Street, but that is now on the permanently banned list as we had a most unfortunate incident with a jar of fried carrot and pea a week ago. :?

So, I had resolved to take a banana to the game.

And promptly forgot it. :lol:
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