miasmum wrote: Sorry about the raffle, but who wants a warm bottle of white wine anywayAlthough maybe it would have been a voucher towards your funeral costs
Actually it was big box of biscuits. The chap who won it was a St. Blazey fan. He said the team would probably snaffle them all on the coach back home ….
Avid readers of this blog (or those who may have accidentally strayed into it and thought “what on Earth is this?”
) may recall that the Ostrich decided a few months ago to Heed the Government’s Advice and start up a [word we have agreed not to use on this forum*] box, and fill it with emergency rations. Ossie has been so assiduous at this that there has been a reported shortage of toilet rolls in this town; that’s because the bird has amassed a huge stockpile in the broom cupboard 
. However as we know, that which was supposed to have happened certainly did not happen, and probably won’t happen until most of Ossie’s “Use By” dates have passed. 
Accordingly, ever resourceful, Mrs O has demanded that the said box be emptied, so that it can be re-used as a [word we have also agreed not to use on this forum**] box, and duly filled with nuts and treats and goodies.“Oh all right,
” muttered Ossie, “but how am I supposed to eat 24 cans of baked beans, then?”“Preferably not all at once,” said Mrs O, reaching for the air freshener …..
* not the C-word, the other one.
** not the other one - the other, other one
On Wednesday last, I had to visit the dentist to have a filling removed and tooth drilled down so that they could fit a crown over it.
I had agreed to this before taking on board that instead of £50-odd for a replacement filling, I’d lumbered myself with a bill for Band C treatment, which is £246.60 
. Never talk to me about the free NHS! 
So there I was, flat out in the chair, under local anaesthetic and with large chunks of molar missing, when the nurse, looking at something on X-rays displayed on her screen, said to the dentist: “Hmm, you’d better take a look at this.”
Silence. Then: “Yes, well, it looks like we will have to remove the whole tooth. Or possibly three teeth. And then fit a denture.” To Ossie: “Open wide again for me ….”
“Eeeeek,
” shrieked Ossie, seeing no teef and potentially a £1,000 bill, “What do you mean, were you talking about me ??” “Oh no”, was the response “the chap who’s coming in after you ….”
Possibly a bit unprofessional to talk about some other patient’s case in front of me, but I was so relieved, I didn’t care!
Anyway, temporary crown now fitted and I go back in a fortnight for the proper one to be fitted.Almost exactly a year ago, the Ostrich travelled down to Hamble Club FC, on the South Coast near Southampton, for a match which in the event was abandoned after a deluge swamped the ground. I didn’t even make the start of that game, as I could see that it was highly unlikely it would be played, and opted to travel back to Southampton for an afternoon’s window shopping. So, unfinished business at Hamble, and today, I had in mind to go see them play Lymington Town. Until I saw the weather forecast, which was a repeat of the previous year’s watery fiasco, plus added 70 mph gusts.
I also had in mind a game at Brockenhurst in the New Forest as back-up, but once the Prophets of Doom on the BBC Weather App had made it all sound like that disaster movie “The Day After Tomorrow” , and South Western Railway had announced that all trains would be limited to 50mph or cancelled because of the risk of flooding and fallen trees, I decided on a safety first policy of a short car trip to Warminster, where the local team were taking on AFC Portchester in the FA Vase, a sort of FA Cup for junior clubs. By coincidence, it was AFC Portchester who were playing at Hamble a year ago.Having ascertained on Twitter that the Warminster game had passed an early morning pitch inspection
, I started off early for the 15 mile drive over into Wiltshire, because parking is notoriously difficult at the Weymouth Street ground, and Portchester had said they were bringing a coach. In fact, when I arrived, there were two coaches outside the ground and only two vacant parking spaces on the main road within half a mile. I nabbed one quick. The FA Vase is still regional at this stage, but the tie was an intriguing one, Western League Warminster, Step 6 and 15th, versus Wessex League Portchester, Step 5 and going very well in fourth spot. The pitch was wet, the rain light but incessant, the ball greasy to handle and 5 yard sliding tackles not uncommon. Both sides seemed evenly matched but Allen opened the scoring for the home team on 22m when sheer persistence chasing down the ball enabled him to get a shot away and beat the keeper from a tight angle. Portchester’s Martin then got hauled up for off-side, made an unnecessarily pithy remark to the linesman
, and found himself saddled with a 10 minute cooling off period in the sin bin. Miluk then made it 2-0 on 42m, sweeping the ball past Snelling in goal after a defender had floundered trying to block him.Warminster stretched their lead on 55m, Allen lunging to connect with Miluk’s cross and steering it just inside the post, before Portchester pulled a simple goal back on 66m, Dan Wooden piloting a neat header over the keeper and into the net, but it was merely a consolation goal, and Warminster, who could easily have been 5 up at that point, happily played out time. A deserved win for the Wilts side, and a minor feat of giant-killing at that!
02/11/19 – Buildbase FA Vase Second Round: Warminster Town 3 AFC Portchester 1
Admission: £2.50, programme £1, raffle £1. If the latter was drawn, I never heard the result …
Refreshments: Chips £1 (small portion, but a commensurate price), cuppa tea £1
Attendance: 222, a very good, bumper crowd, which was enhanced not only by the Portchester supporters but also by supporters of Bradford Town (that’s fellow Western Leaguers Bradford-on-Avon whose match had been called off) and Salisbury (a contingent of fans who hadn’t wanted to travel to see their team at Farnborough in the light of the weather). I am now seeing reports on Twitter from Portchester fans that they were a tad miffed by the “abusive and hostile” reception they got this afternoon. Well, the home supporters were certainly in good voice (“We’re going to Wemberlee, and we all hate Westburee”
), raucous, and possibly well tanked up. I have a vague suspicion that something may have occurred after I left the ground at the end, but exactly what, I know not …..And for the record, Hamble Club’s game was called off, and whilst Brockenhurst played, the Southampton - Weymouth trains I’d have been using were suspended, yes, due to a tree across the line!
. And scrolling along at the bottom of the widescreen is a BBC Breaking Newsfeed. But what news is this? The General Election? ‘Arry and Megan? Pudsey Bear? 
. Perhaps this is all the British Army can afford at the moment? 
