Ostrich on the Hoof

[cromwell]

I remember Alan Devonshire well, a really good player in his pomp. I think a knee injury finished his career. I'm glad the red kites didn't swoop on an unsuspecting midfielder..

The number plate light! If the air wasn't blue, the thoughts on the inside of your head must surely have been!

[TheOstrich]

I've often thought why you don't take your own food to a footy match. But that would rob you of your weekly season 'treat'!
The Spanish go their matches always, always with a pitufo or baguette filled with meat and wrapped in foil and for dessert it's the obligatory pipas.

I have been known to smuggle refreshments in, Ally, often a pint of milk in a carton, or the occasional pasty from the local shop, but it does depend on what the facilities at the ground are actually like. A few clubs do have a no consumption of food not bought on the premises rule, and certainly at higher level matches, you can of course be frisked. And (many years ago) I once did have a bag of tangerines confiscated by the Somerset Constabulary at Yeovil Town ……

[TheOstrich]

The number plate light! If the air wasn't blue, the thoughts on the inside of your head must surely have been!

More relieved, Crommers. They only knocked me a tenner …..

[TheOstrich]

Ossie usually starts each season with some sort of meticulously-researched Master Plan, the compilation of which keeps him busily occupied throughout the months of June and July . What usually then transpires is that the Plan, by the end of August, is in serious disarray , and by the end of September, it’s been ripped up entirely! So this year, apart from a general principle that each match attended should feature a new ground or at least one new team, the bird has been quite laid back and taken things week by week. And lo, a sort of a plan has emerged from the mists, rather by default, and that is to finish off seeing all the teams in the Step 1 National League. Two down already (it should have been three but for that car bulb problem last week ), today saw Ossie making his second visit of the season to the Laithwaite Stadium in Woking, this time to see the landlords take on Ebbsfleet United. Duly accomplished, that leaves me with four National League teams still to catch up with – Chesterfield, Notts. County, Sutton United and Aldershot.

Ebbsfleet United have a peculiar bit of history. Originally Gravesend and Northfleet FC, they changed their name to Ebbsfleet United in 2007 to better identify with all the massive regeneration and new-build projects in their particular locality. At the same time, the club was actually taken over by an internet venture – MyFootballClub . co . uk, a revolutionary idea which apparently involved paid-up website members owning the club, voting (online) on decisions and even picking the team! Well, that had moderate success but interest in the concept quickly waned, and Ebbsfleet, in 2009/10, were relegated to Step 2. By May 2013, they had racked up financial debts and all but folded. However, luckily for them, a white knight stepped in – Dr. Abdulla Al-Humaidi and the Kuwaiti firm KEH Sports Ltd. – and the good doctor, as benefactor, has poured a lot of money into the infrastructure of the club, and helped them win back their National League spot in 2017.

Woking gained promotion from Step 2 at the end of last season, but remain one of the few teams in the league with a part-time squad. Completely against expectation, they’ve rattled off six wins on the trot, and actually went into this game as league leaders. Ebbsfleet were one off the bottom, so you’d be putting your money on a banker home win. Right ….

Woking opened the scoring on 7 minutes with what must be an early contender for my Goal of the Season . Tyreke Johnson, a 20 year old on a 6-month loan from Southampton (and yes, he has made appearances as a substitute in the Premiership), picked up the ball about 25 yards out and unleashed an absolute blockbuster of a shot that Ebbsfleet’s keeper Jordan Holmes despairingly dived for but got nowhere near as it scorched into the net. The rest of the half was a fairly even affair, but the Woking forward line didn’t look all that co-ordinated, and 1-0 at the break was eminently fair.

On 49m, a Woking attacker was strongly challenged in the box by Ebbsfleet’s keeper, and although the home player kept his feet, Simon Jackson, the referee, pointed to the spot. It seemed a harsh decision to me, but I was at the far end of the pitch, so maybe I missed something in the challenge. Jake Hyde’s spot-kick, however, struck the corner of the crossbar and post and bounced clear. Ebbsfleet promptly went up the other end and had a reasonably good penalty shout of their own for handball turned down.

By the 70th minute, still 1-0 and looking like that’s how it would end up, despite the Ebbsfleet goal leading a charmed life at time, Ossie was sharpening his pencil and pondering his report along the lines that “to be a successful side, sometimes you have to win ugly, and that’s just what Woking were doing today, although it was a bit of a stretch to think they’d be able to keep this up all season” when the game took a completely unexpected twist. Firstly, Woking got their second goal on 77m, the Ebbsfleet defence completely melting away in the face of a strong run by Dave Tarpey who slipped the ball to Hyde to easily beat the keeper. But 6 minutes later, after a raft of substitutions, the Fleet’s Alex Reid got on the end of a deep cross and diverted it into the roof of the net. 2-1 and cue both sides playing frantic football. And in the first minute of extra-time, Ebbsfleet clinched a totally unexpected draw, Myles Weston floating a sublime free-kick over the wall and across the keeper into the net. Funny old game, football, I don’t think anyone had seen that coming, certainly not the away fans!

A late finish meant a bit of a route-march back to the station, nevertheless managing to arrive at 17:13 for the 17:16 stopper to Salisbury, where I usually grab a cup of coffee while waiting for my onwards connection to Dorset. But there was no sign of the 17:16, and everything was totally disrupted (again! ) - this time the cause being trespassers on the line at Surbiton. But it transpired the 16:46 through train to Exeter was running 40 minutes late, so I was able to catch that one, giving me the unlikely prospect of arriving home slightly earlier than expected! Fat chance, however, they announced when we reached Andover that the train was being terminated at Salisbury, so I did still get to purchase my Americano at the Pumpkin Seed (where the Ostrich had an argument over being short-changed by 1p ) whilst waiting for the next train west, that one thankfully being only 10 minutes behind time.

14/09/19 – Vanarama National League (Step 1): Woking 2 Ebbsfleet United 2
Admission: £13 concession, and a decent programme for £3.
Refreshments: Nothing from the burger bar - I consider £5.50 for a basic burger to be larcenous . 75p for a KitKat from the corner store by the station, and £2.79 for the coffee.
Attendance: 1,942

[TheOstrich]

This weekend was the First Anniversary of the Great Barnes Fiasco , the sporting trip from Hell where everything that could go wrong did go wrong. So what better way to celebrate it than by a return visit to Barnes! The target today, however was not the wretched Barnes RFC, but Rosslyn Park RFC, an altogether more prestigious outfit who actually play at Priory Lane, Roehampton, only ¼ mile (as the Ostrich trots) south down the road from Barnes station.

My journey today was absolutely smooth, everything on time and working correctly! I popped into Waterloo first for a minor bit of retail therapy at a specialist bookshop nearby, before boarding the 13:15 Hounslow service, and as I was passing through the barriers, I was handed a Transport Focus (it’s a Government quango) Passenger Satisfaction Survey to complete about my journey. Ruddy good thing I didn’t get handed one a year ago when the whole railway system was in chaos!

Anyway, it was 31 questions long , which is rather a lot of multiple choice questions for a simple 20 minute, 5 stop journey on what turned out to be a modern urban Class 707 electric train, but they provided a SAE so I completed it at the rugby match. Some of the questions got a bit surreal, like “Were you bored on your journey?” and “How many druggies accosted you?” But really, to be scrupulously fair, I had to give them a pretty good rating based purely on today's particular service. We’ll draw a veil over the fact that my 16:49 return train was cancelled , but as trains run every 7 or 8 minutes down that line, I didn’t have any problem connecting with the Exeter train at Clapham Junction, so we’ll let them off – this time!

If you go back 40 years or so, before the advent or rugby union leagues and professionalism, Rosslyn Park RFC used to be one of the bigger beasts of English rugby, on a par with London teams like Harlequins and Blackheath. Nowadays, however, they ply their trade in National 1, the third tier, which in soccer-speak makes them a sort of Ipswich or Sunderland. Their ground is adjacent to the Roehampton Sports Club, which in passing is a pretty posh all-sports club and golf course:
https://www.roehamptonclub.co.uk/about

…. and whilst it looks pretty spacious when you climb the steps, pay your money at the gate and take a first glance around the ground, it’s actually not all that impressive. Behind one goal is the clubhouse, a long, cavernous and rather bare affair with a separate dining room and a coffee area in one corner, and Leicester v Spurs on the wide-screen. Outside, down one touch-line is an elderly stand with raised wooden bench seating, and along the other side there’s more bench seating under a corrugated cover festooned with dead ivy. In complete contrast to these rather mundane surroundings, the pitch is an immaculate 4G artificial turf affair – quite a rarity in this sport and only the third such rugby ground I’ve been to.

And then there is The Chair. Situated on the half-way line in front on the main stand is a single comfy armchair, (with adjacent table), the upholstery decked out in the club’s red and white colours, and one lucky person gets to sit on this throne and receive unlimited free food and drink brought to the table for the duration of the match.
https://www.facebook.com/RosslynParkFC/ ... 89/?type=3
Just one catch, though – to be the lucky recipient, you have to bid for the privilege – and the minimum bid is £100!

As for the game itself, Rosslyn Park disposed of newly-promoted Canterbury without raising much of a sweat. Canterbury took an early lead, but once the home team had got themselves going, they quickly notched up three converted tries to lead 21-7 after 20 minutes. The Kentishmen played a valiant game, but Rosslyn Park looked to be in second gear most of the time – they did occasionally display some scintillating handling, passing and running, but it was all a bit spasmodic. The final score-line of 47-14 was an entirely fair reflection of a game that I found on reflection only moderately entertaining. Not one, perhaps, to live long in the memory.

21/09/19 –National League 1 (Level 3): Rosslyn Park RFC 47 Canterbury RFC 14
Admission: £13 concession, with a free programme; 32pp glossy but primarily advertising.
Refreshments: Bacon roll £4 from the independent burger van at the ground – London prices, but in fairness a decent amount of bacon in the bun.
Attendance: I’d put it around 500

[cromwell]

Os, that bring back memories. I played at Rosslyn Park's ground in 1973 in a schools national seven a-side competition, the Roehampton sevens.
They were indeed a prestigious side back then. I guess their star player around then would have been Andy Ripley. Happy days!
I'm glad they won. £13 to get in though - London prices indeed.

[TheOstrich]

Os, that bring back memories. I played at Rosslyn Park's ground in 1973 in a schools national seven a-side competition, the Roehampton sevens.
They were indeed a prestigious side back then. I guess their star player around then would have been Andy Ripley. Happy days!
I'm glad they won. £13 to get in though - London prices indeed.

Ah, that explains something, Crommers. The bar in the clubhouse is "Ripley's Bar" - I wondered about that but then I'd forgotten about Andy Ripley!
Appearing in the Roehampton Sevens, eh - bet you kept that under wraps up there in "League Country" ....

[miasmum]

Ok, you got me.....You mentioned my beloved Ipswich, I have to reply.

Nowt wrong with being third tier especially not if you are in a happy place in the third tier as we are

I am intrigued what other questions were on the multiple choice, aside from how many druggies accosted you? Did they ask how many drunks?

I was somewhat stunned by the score of 47 - 14 until I remembered this is RFC not FC. I thought blimey even our worst result of 9-0 against Man Utd wasn't that bad

I love the refreshments, they are the first thing I look for, bit like Jen and her blancmange and jelly on a Sunday LOL

Where are you off to next Ostrich features?????

[TheOstrich]

The Transport Focus multiple choice questions - well, from what I recall, just about everything, really!

After the usual round of "who are you": white, male, and over 65 (or as The Ostrich answered: grey-plumed, who's asking dearie , and older than you, you cheeky whippersnapper ), we had "what was your actual journey" - easy enough, the 13:15 to Barnes - and "why are you making it?" (i.e. commuting/leisure/tourism/visiting relatives/no idea, I think I've got on the wrong train ). Sport was actually an option, so I ticked that!

There was then a long section about Waterloo station itself; how did you get there? (car/taxi/bus/Underground/CYCLE/walk/hovercraft, so on). If I remember correctly, getting there by train (which I did, from Dorset) was not one of the options! Then there were the subsections. If you cycled here, well done, you can pass on Question 18 and collect £200. Question 18 was if you didn't cycle here, why not, you numbskull. Don't you CARE?

The questionnaire went on to the toilets, did you use them, male/female/disabled/transwhatever, were they clean or not; the staff, did you talk to them, were they polite/helpful/rude /couldn't understand your Dorset accent; the destinations boards and information displays (I marked that one down, the departure board didn't show what platform my train was leaving from until about 90 seconds before it left, which is par for the course at Waterloo).

Then the train itself, accessibility, cleanliness inside and out, comfort of seating, WiFi/mobile availability, information displays, helpfulness of guard etc (now I marked that one up - some Brentford fans had boarded it by mistake, and the guard actually announced over the tannoy that they should remain on the train, as it reversed at Hounslow and went back to London via Brentford, arriving there at 14:08 in good time for their match . And yes, there were questions about how secure you felt and if you didn't, what behaviour you personally found threatening (feet on seats/loud music/intoxication/staring /threat of violence/violence). I told Ossie to sit in his seat and on no account to rattle his feathers.

And finally, after a section on whether the train was ontime and if late, how late, we had questions on what did you actually "do" during your journey - snoozed/read (if yes, book/paper/magazine/back of crisp packet)/listened to stereo/worked/studied/used computer/tablet/mobile/watched other people (cross-refer previous paragraph re staring ) /looked out of the window/up at the ceiling/down at the floor/twiddled your thumbs.

It finished that section by asking you if you found your journey pleasant/relaxing/irritating/frustrating/boring/scary and you then had to tick a box next to a relevant cartoon character displaying that emotion.

Oh yes, and you also had to rate how much you "trusted" your franchise operator, South Western Railway, on a scale of 1 to 7. I let Ossie answer that one!

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At the time of posting, Ossie has no idea where he's going next Saturday. The weather may be a factor; it's not looking too good at the moment, so I'm keeping an eye on the forecast.

[Kaz]

Shell, it's good to see you! FWIW I am sorry about our little spat xxx