It's Murder, On The Orient Express ....

[Ally]

Yayyyy, the Ostrich has migrated back to his Shed, for the season

I want an inflatable palm tree now!

We have one Kaz.

Blame Craig years ago and our Chino bazaars!

[TheOstrich]

We have one Kaz.

Blame Craig years ago and our Chino bazaars!

[Kaz]

Yeah right, blaming Craig!

[TheOstrich]

18/08 – A fuming Ostrich discovered this week that the current round of rail strikes has been extended and now run up to Saturday 15th September . My season’s game-plan of letting the train take the strain to a number of exotic new footballing locations has firmly gone up in smoke, so it’s back to using the trust old banger, and scouring the fixture lists for games closer to the Nest, as I am trying to cut back a bit on the old mileage. Luckily, there are some interesting games to be found if you look carefully, as one effect of all that close-season reorganisation by the FA has been to shunt a number of London-based Isthmian League clubs, playing at Steps 3 and 4, westward (much to their disapproval ) so they are now having to play Dorset-based clubs. There’s about 5 or 6 of these reluctant transferees I’ve never seen play before, so, it’s time to take the opportunity to knock them off my “wanted” list!

So today, a relatively trouble-free drive down to Wimborne Town’s ground, Cuthbury, past Kingston Lacy House and the Badbury Rings, an Iron Age hill fort in the territory of the Durotriges. There were hordes of lycra-clad cyclists and steam traction engines limbering up for the Great Dorset Steam Fair out on the road, but thankfully most of the former were travelling in the opposite direction.

This was my second visit to Wimborne’s ground, which is on the north-western edge of the town, behind the cottage hospital. There’s a very narrow approach road but plenty of parking available inside the ground. It’s an attractive if slightly rambling place, characterised by some very tight walkways round the pitch, basic covered standing behind one goal, an extremely large manual scoreboard , and a low-slung stand down one side with bucket seats for the directors, and bench seating for the Ostriches and other plebs. The clubhouse, accessed from outside the ground, is smallish but uncluttered, and the guy selling the programmes sits just outside the door. The hospitality suite was hosting a kid’s birthday party lunch, so there was a lively atmosphere about the place. There’s a small club shop just inside the turnstiles which seemed to be mainly selling clothing, but badges and pens were also available. And finally, a very friendly welcome from the club’s officials.

Wimborne are playing at their highest ever level this coming season, Step 3, having secured an unexpected promotion following the demise of Barnsley-based Shaw Lane FC, who folded during June. They are delighted by this turn of events , but were slightly less enamoured by all the subsequent appeals and FA bureaucracy that went with it, which led to a four week wait before their position was finally confirmed; that didn’t help squad enhancement or preparation.

The club may have to relocate away from Cuthbury in the near future, as it is leased from the Council, and the Council want them to move to a new development on t’ther side of town. This has been rumbling on for a number of years, but things are starting to happen, I was told. The developer of the new site (mixed housing and sports facilities) off the Ringwood road has been told by the Council to flippin’ get on with it or risk losing the contract , so diggers are apparently on site. Whether they are actually doing any digging is another matter, however, and Wimborne Town don’t think they will be moving any time soon, certainly not for a couple of years.

To the game, and it’s a salutary but indisputable fact of my “season” so far that I’ve now seen 5 games not involving Wimborne and these have harvested only 7 goals. The 2 matches I’ve attended involving the Magpies, including today, have seen 16 goals!

Wimborne have suffered two defeats in their first 2 league games as they try to acclimatise to playing in the higher league - in their first home game last week, Dorchester Town promptly notched 4 goals against them in the first half. Today looked like being another difficult encounter against ex-Isthmian League Harrow, the London side taking a 13th minute lead when Moss rose to head a corner and the home defence appeared paralysed as the ball crossed the line. Worse was to come on 33m when a defensive error allowed the ball to roll across the box to Bryan who made no mistake from 10 yards. Harrow were getting the better of the midfield exchanges but both defences were creaking ominously. Wimborne’s ace striker, Toby Holmes, managed to lob the keeper on 41m to make it 1-2 at the interval.

An entertaining first half but the second was enthralling. A quickly-taken thrown in to Young in the box saw the Wimborne striker being clattered by Preddie, which earned him a yellow card and Lovell emphatically converted the spot-kick after a very cautious, stop/start run up . Wimborne were ramping up the pressure now, despite the frustration of some very marginal off-side calls from the linesman, and the Harrow keeper pulled off some blinding saves.

However, it all went pear-shaped for Harrow on the 66th minute. McLoed brought Burbage down with a scything tackle and the straight red wasn’t a great surprise. From the resulting free-kick, Lovell shot against the away keeper’s legs but Davidson was following up and scooped the ball into the net. 3-2. Then on 71m Preddie’s hard tackle on the edge of the area was flagged by the linesman, and his second yellow card meant Harrow were reduced to 9 men. Wimborne were now running the ball forward at every opportunity and Young notched Wimborne’s fourth on 81m. In a late flurry, O’Connor gave Harrow brief hope with a crashing drive, but within two minutes, the referee played on what looked like a potential second penalty award for Wimborne allowing Holmes to score a simple final goal.

A thoroughly entertaining afternoon, with the only down-side the presence of huge numbers of wasps . It’s all very well positioning open rubbish bins every 10 yards down the walkway in front of the seats, but they attracted so many of the striped hordes that the arm-waving punters in the stand must have been giving a passible imitation of Bookmakers’ Corner at Goodwood for most of the game.

Evo-Stik League South / Premier South (Step 3) : Wimborne Town 5 Harrow Borough 3
Admission £6 concession
Programme: £2. 48pp b+w, superb value, many interesting articles and interviews, Dorset Dave’s Chuckle Corner* and even a Spot The Ball quiz!
Teamsheets: Available if you ask nicely and plead your case. Abject begging does help - it’s probably easier to get an American visa. Otherwise, there’s one on display in a clipboard adjacent to the Supporters Club shop.
Refreshments: 2 x traditional-style properly-spiced Cornish pasties £3.80, diet coke and crisps £2.25 in the bar.
Attendance: 341 (announced)

* Just a few of the “schoolboy exam howlers” taken from the page :

“When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.”
“Vacuum: A large empty space where the Pope lives”
“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars”
“A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold”
“A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is”
“Rhubarb is a kind of celery gone bloodshot”
“Mushrooms always grow in damp places, so they look like umbrellas”
“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water”

[Ally]

Great read Ossie!

Writing about the Cornish pasties has just reminded me I forgot to go to Greggs when I was in the UK for a steak bake!

Love the schoolboy howlers.

[Kaz]

Had to laugh at the wasps It reminds me of a very entertaining incident down in Teignmouth, sitting outside the Eastcliffe (?) Cafe, watching a lady starting to eat a cream tea, whilst running around doing semaphore ( ), and her very stoical husband, who just sat there quietly munching while she drew all the fire.......

[cromwell]

Great read as ever Os! Kingston Lacy house! My God, we went there thirty years since when our son was a toddler.

I loved the schoolboy howler as well!

[TheOstrich]

it25/08 – It’s not often that you find an Ostrich at what you might call a non-Non League match. The last time Ossie ventured out to a “proper” Football League game was back in April 2016 with a visit to Crewe Alexandra, but this week, well, needs must as there has been a complete dearth of interesting evening fixtures in the area, and now’t on TV, so on Tuesday, the bird decided to wander across the border into Somerset for a Division 2 encounter between Yeovil Town and Oldham Athletic!

It’s difficult driving to Huish Park at the moment as there’s heavy roadworks and lane closures from the end of the Cartgate link road (which takes you from the A303 into Yeovil), up past the crematorium and the big trading estate, almost up to the ground itself. Like all good roadworks, they seem to have been going on for ever, but noticeably on this visit, the cones had multiplied considerably, and certain sections of what is usually a busy road had been reduced to one-way traffic. That was OK as the one way was the way I was going, but it left me with some nasty questions about how I was going to get back home. Pulling up at the booth in the stadium car park to pay my £3 parking charge, I asked the guys how best to drive out at the end of the match.

“Where you want to go to?”
“Gillingham.”
“Um …”
“It’s in Dorset. North Dorset.”
“Err ….”
“The A303!”
“Ah! When you leave the car park, go THAT way”
And they both pointed in different directions ….

So I parked up and asked a couple who parked next to me the same question.
“You know the double roundabout?”
“Sorry, no I don’t.”
“Well when you find it, go straight across …”

Eventually, I elicited that it was a question of skirting the northern edge of the town (Thorne Lane, which I vaguely remembered from when we used to live down here years ago, but it was countryside in those days, and it’s all part of a brand new housing development now) to get across to the A37 and rejoining the A303 at Ilchester.

This being a "proper" football match, and as I had had no intention of booking on line, I had to obtain a Match Ticket from a Match Ticket Office, which was easy enough once I’d wandered around to the other side of the ground where the Admin Offices are, and this helpfully told me I was allocated Seat 3 in Row H of Block L, but it was only after several minutes' searching in the (very) small print at the bottom that it told me I had to use Turnstile 9, which was right in the opposite corner of the stadium! So back I went, only to be met by a phalanx of security guards, and as it was a slow evening, I was told:

“Empty your pockets!”
“OK, right. Here’s the match programme. And here’s a piece of paper I use to record the scores. And here’s a biro to write on the piece of paper. Do you mind holding them for me?”
Non-plussed security guard holds out his hands.
“Thank you. Now here’s another biro which I will use in case the first one doesn’t work. And here’s my car keys. And here’s all my loose change. Shall I count it out for you?”
The other security guards start to fall about laughing ….
“OK, OK. That’s fine. Turnstile’s over there ….”

It was quite a reasonable seat on the half-way line (although I inadvertently sat in Block M at first, which was next to the Oldham fans – my mistake). They made plenty of noise and had quite a decent drummer, rather than the usual moronic and tuneless thumping you usually get. The ground was about half full, but as it’s a smallish stadium, there was plenty of atmosphere. But as for the match …. well, my first 0-0 of the season, but nevertheless, it was quite a decent game which could have gone either way (mind you, I got nicely taken to task when I posted a short but positive report about it on the non-league internet forum I frequent, as it so happened three other forum members had also attended the game, and had considered it rubbish! ). Anyway, there was a lot of neat, tricksy play and individual skills on display from both sides for the first 35 minutes, after which it did get decidedly scrappy before the interval and we had a fair few stoppages for injuries. Interestingly, the same young lass accompanied both trainers onto the field when they were summoned, and I’m wondering if she was providing some sort of independent medical assessment regarding head injuries, perhaps?

Yeovil, with the outstanding Sessi D’Almeida patrolling midfield, had had the majority of attacking play in the first half, but ran up against a solid Oldham defence. Oldham played more positively in the second half, and at the end of the day, well deserved their point. Their best chance came when Dan Gardner turned outside his defender and unleashed a thunderous 15 yard shot that cannoned back off the post, whilst Yeovil’s Omar Sowunmi rose high to connect with a free kick into the box but placed his header just wide. In a frantic last 5 minutes, Oldham scrambled one off their line, but a Yeovil winner at that point would have been a bit of a travesty.

Football League 2: Yeovil Town 0 Oldham Athletic 0
Admission: £20 oldie concession, matchday price, for a seat in the Screwfix stand.
Programme: £2, and on sale outside the ground. 48pp glossy, perhaps a bit light-weight on content, more a sort of community magazine, but all the basics, nevertheless. Some clubs are now dispensing with paper programmes and moving them on-line, but Yeovil are committed to issuing printed programmes, and apparently at the first two home games this season, they sold out.
Refreshments: £6 discounted meal deal, which seemed the best solution given Yeovil’s somewhat overpriced fayre. You get a pasty, drink, choc bar and crisps, for about £2 less than what you would have paid individually. The crisps were Burts, which are not a patch on Walkers, and the coffee was execrable.
Attendance: 2,904 including 262 away fans (announced)

To Saturday, then, and a pensive Ostrich was counting up his fevvers. The club crest of today’s visitors, Saltash United, from just across the River Tamar by Plymouth, apparently incorporates the town heraldic seal of a lion rampant, a crown, and a couple of ostrich feathers! Something to do with the Duchy of Cornwall, it is said, and our elderly Ossie can ill afford to lose any more.

The home team was Westbury United, whom we have already met on a few occasions in these reports, and the encounter an FA Cup tie, which does sometimes result in the otherwise reclusive South West Peninsula League teams venturing as far west as Wiltshire. So a game of some interest to the non-league aficionado.

I set off for Westbury’s ground reasonably early, thinking I might encounter holiday traffic hold-ups on the A350, (which runs from Poole / Bournemouth north through Shaftesbury and Westbury to the M4), but although traffic was heavy, it was flowing quite steadily. On arrival, the gates were open, but unmanned, and the ground appeared deserted - after wandering around a bit, I managed to find a couple of the Westbury players and confirmed the match was on. About 20 minutes later, while the gates were still unmanned, and the bar still closed up, a coach load of fans arrived from Cornwall and started piling into the ground – cue a lot of running around by the couple of Westbury officials who had turned up to get things organised and collect the admission money!

Well, we eventually got a reasonably entertaining game without hitting any great heights. The result flattered Westbury, really; Saltash gave the home defence a good work-out in the first half and Westbury’s attacking options seemed to consist of hoofing the ball upfield without any great cohesion amongst the frontrunners. Nevertheless, Westbury took the lead deep into stoppage time before the half-time interval when from a direct free kick, Kovacs forced the ball into the net during a goalmouth melee.

Substitute Ferguson came onto the field on 51m, and cleverly poached Westbury’s second which sparked a fairly wild goal celebration. It also killed off the match as Saltash never looked like getting back into it after that, and Allen’s persistence in following up a defensive blunder which left Saltash’s keeper exposed sealed the win just before the end.

FA Cup Preliminary Round: Westbury United 3 Saltash United 0
Admission: £3 concession. programme: £1
Refreshments: 2 reasonably tasty pasties @ £1.50 each, but one was only half-heated up properly, and service in the tea hut could be best described as languid …...
Attendance: 160

[Ally]

Thank you Ossie for my usual Sunday morning footy read-a-thon.

I can just imagine those officials scampering about when the Cornwall lot turned up.

Thanks again for the time and effort you put into this... it's always appreciated.

[victor]

Ossie if I had known beforehand you were going to Yeo I would have warned you about the stewards -very brave with older people & kids but not so when it comes to certain other ages !
Tea bars -avoid them like the plaque ! Did you happen to check the sell by/use by dates on your purchases?. Visit ASDA just down the road,
It's a pain to get out the without any roadworks.
£20 for Leaque 2 is a rip off and one of the reasons the crowds are down.