"Granny, when you take off your glasses, you still look like Granny, but when Grandad takes off his glasses, he just looks weird!"
"Granny, do you know, if a f*rt doesn't make any noise, you don't have to say 'excuse me'" (Bear in mind she has an 8-year old brother who is always interested in these things

To her childminder, in the local coffee shop "Daddy's wee is orange, Mummy says it is because he doesn't drink enough water!"


