Rehoming a cat Help Ria UPDATED

[miasmum]

My best friend, Kim's, mum sadly passed away today. I have known her since I was 7. Yesterday she was put on a ventilator but they were told there was no hope. I got there at lunch time and Kim straight away said "I just wish we could tell her something was sorted for George, I don't want her to die worrying about him" I had been thinking the same thing. Then she said "I can't have him, I have a small flat and a dog and a cat, Carl (her brother) can't have him, he lives on a boat and Danielle (her daughter and the only other person in the room) can't have him as she lives in a flat in the middle of London" So I glanced round and thought, well that'll be me then

I am not exactly thrilled with the prospect but I know how much my mum loved her cat William who came to live with us and Margaret loved George as much.

What I was wondering though is would it be fairer to ask around the immediate neighbourhood and see if anyone local can offer him a home? I am worried about how well he will settle with me. He is extremely nervous, I have never seen him indoors apart from when I fed him last year. As soon as he has eaten he goes out again.

How long do I need to keep him in for if I have him and how will he cope with that, he will be terrified. I don't really have anywhere to keep him safe which is another worry.

Your cat expertise would be very welcome Ria. I know Kim really wants me to have him and I did tell Margaret yesterday I would

Thanks xx

[Gal]

Thing is though MM, how do YOU feel about taking George in? Yes it's a lovely thought but what about the practicalities? And your emotional situation in regard to losing Mia

Perhaps others might have some better advice for you xxxx

[miasmum]

Hi Gal, I don't have any emotional problem with it. Mia has been gone nearly 5 months and I had a long time to get used to the fact she was poorly. I do have a problem with the practicalities as I am concerned about keeping him in and about him running away when I do let him out.

Yesterday I was a bit fed up about it, but to be honest today I feel more positive. That is why I am actually hesitating about asking around where he lives as I know Kim wants me to have him

[meriad]

My first reaction Shell was - what a star you are and thank you so much

As a first off to answer the easiest question re keeping him in. Most rescues now suggest 4 weeks; with nervous cats even longer if you can. I know old school thinking was 2 weeks, but it has been proven that the longer you keep him in the better for the cat as it gives them more time to settle and get used to their news surroundings, smells and sounds. And then when the time comes to let him out - before you even get to that point make sure he is microchipped and the details updated to you / new owner. And when you go for it, do it over a weekend, starting on a Saturday morning before his breakfast. Let him out for a few minutes, call him back in and give him a treat, let him out again a bit longer, call him in and give him a treat... gradually building up to about 15 / 20 minutes outside and then call him hin and give him breakfast. That should reaffirm where his home is. But as said - make sure that he is chipped and details up to date just in case.

But now as to keeping George or not.... you don't have to if you don't want to. But, would / could you be able to consider yourself a foster mom for him until a new home is found. The issue at hand right now is that George needs a home and he needs one now, ie today (if he's not already with you). if he's a nervous cat then being left on his own in a flat isn't ideal in any way and the sooner he can be taken in by someone / anyone so he gets used to a noisier life the better for him. And who knows - maybe things will work out for you and him and he'll settle and all will be fine. But yes, start asking your neighbours if anyone would be open to adopting him and also contact all your local rescues and your vet and put him on their direct rehoming list, ie he goes from you to them and not into a cattery / pen.

I know you told Margret you'll have him and I'm glad she passed not having to worry about him, but equally if it doesn't work for you and George I know for a fact that she wouldn't want either of you to be unhappy if there was a better solution somewhere.

So my advise for now is bring George home to you, see how you get on and start putting feelers out for a new home just in case.

But again - thank you !!!!!!

[miasmum]

I can't bring George here yet, Tim has a week off starting tomorrow to rip the floors up in the lounge and dining rooms and put insulation down. So the soonest I could bring him here is next Friday. He will be fine where he is. She was in hospital for 6 weeks last summer and he stayed on his own with the neighbour feeding him. He doesn't live in a flat he lives in a house with free access to the garden.

I can tell you now the let him out call him back scenario isn't going to happen. George doesn't even come to his owner. He comes in, eats his dinner and is gone again. He has lived with Margaret and her husband Dave who passed away five years ago since he was 8 weeks old and he is now 9 years old. He is still completely terrified of anyone and refuses to stay in the house, although he comes in at night and slept on her bed, but she never sees him in the day.

I am not putting him in a rescue so yes I will foster him, but its not my neighbours I am going to ask to have him its Georges. I am sure the fact he is never at home makes it pretty possible he is fed elsewhere during the day. My worry is letting people in the area know the house is empty.

[meriad]

I wouldn't worry too much about the house being empty Shell, people will notice at some point anyway. Good idea asking George's neighbours. Hopefully he is being fed elsewhere and someone can take him in. And who knows - maybe even the new home owners will open their hearts to him?

As a matter of interest, if he is that nervous of people how will you catch him?

And also do contact your local rescues - maybe they have someone on their books who is looking for a stable / barn cat?

[miasmum]

He always comes in for his dinner, so I will lock the cat flap and grab him. He isn't at all feral, so he wont be vicious, when he is eating you can stroke him and he even purrs and rubs his head against you, he is just anti-social.

Its just going round and round in my head. I would actually quite like to keep him, now I have had longer to think about it, but would it be fairer to George for him to stay in his area or will he get used to living here?

[Kaz]

I think it's lovely of you to take him Shell I hope it works out for you both (((((((((x)))))))))

Oh, and I am very sorry for your friend's loss xxxx

[meriad]

Oh gosh, he's young enough and will get used to living with you, don't worry about that . How fast away do you live from his current home? Also, do you know if he's been neuteted? Often older people (and no offence meant) didn't worry too much about having male cats done, they'd leave them be.

Give it a go Shell, you may well be pleasantly surprised. And once in a new home George may even become a different cat. xx

[miasmum]

Yes he is neutered. We live about a mile away from his current home