what!!!!!!

[victor]

coming through Gatwick yesterday,my hand luggage through the scanner,guy says "whose is this?"
mine i say --come here he says--opens up and waves his sniffer wand around ,then takes out a jar of Branston pickle-hmmm whats this? is it cream?.is it a paste? .is it a liquid?
don't know so we will confiscate anyway-ok fair enough

go to take my bag and he says -that is'nt why we stopped you -the bag is showing traces of EXPLOSIVES!!! WTF -are you serious?

calls over a colleaque who uses his sniffer wand and says ,nothing wrong with that your wand must be faulty

meanwhile O.H is having a full pat down ,only 2 bits of metal on her --bra clasp & trouser clip!

should have worn a Burgha

[Rodo]

Oh dear. What an exciting adventure. I didn't know Branston pickle was an explosive.

[Workingman]

Were you bringing the Branston in or taking it out?

[saundra]

Gets a bit stupid don't you think
Bring on the branston

[tonicha]

I'm waiting to fly and see what they make of Gladys

[Kaz]

Vic, you old pickle-smuggler you!!

For some reason Mick sets the alarm off every time he goes through the metal detector Maybe he has a metal plate in his head he hasn't told me about

[Kaz]

I'm waiting to fly and see what they make of Gladys

[Rodo]

Do you know Kaz, I set the alarm off every single time I go through. I only have the wires in my bra and my wedding ring too. I don't understand it. I am sick and tired of having pat-downs!

[Kaz]

How bizarre I never set it off, not once

[Rodo]

Last time I even had to take off my shoes and they put them through the radar thing!