Another Load of Cobblers ....

[TheOstrich]

"Are my eyes deceiving me, or is that a feather duster flapping around out there in the garden? "
"No, that's Ossie trying to cling on to the remains of the fence ... "

The bird should be back next week, weather permitting ....

[miasmum]

Hope the ostrich and the fence panel dont disappear like a magic carpet ride.

Any refreshments there Ossie?

[TheOstrich]

Err no, It's not exactly barbecue weather here ......

The Ostrich told me to say " "



Still, we got off lightly compared to some, we're thankful for that.

[cromwell]

The Ostrich is a flightless bird, you can't be blown off course!
Get out there man, we need our fix of local sport reporting1
Only joking. I've been out a couple of times in the last few days and unless you'd have to go out, you wouldn't.

[TheOstrich]

I was planning a first visit this season to Sherborne Rugby, Crommers; that game was played and finished 10-5 (which sounds pretty dour).
But there were reports of multiple fallen trees in the Blackmore Vale area following Friday's storm, plus the weather wasn't exactly brilliant on Saturday, so I took an early decision not to risk anything .....

[Kaz]

Ossie, you’re a wise old bird No point risking wet fevvers in this lot!

[TheOstrich]

“I think I need a new pair of spectacles,” muttered Mrs O
“Why’s that?” I enquired.
“I think I’ve just seen a big brown tumbleweed bowling across the lawn ….”
“Oh, that! No, that was Ossie. He’s just lost his battle to cling onto the remains of the fence - that last gust caught him right and proper!”
“How do you know?”
“Can’t you hear all that enraged squawking coming from underneath the holly bush up t’other end?”

The fence. What a saga! Storm Franklin, on the Monday morning, although not quite as ferocious as the previous one, was enough to take out three panels from the back fence, leaving the garden exposed. The first thing I did was phone the Town Council.

“Just to let you know about some storm damage. You own the overflow attenuation tank, don’t you?”
“Possibly …..” (Admit nothing!)
“Well, our back fence panels have come down across the path at the top of it, and it’s causing an obstruction.”
“Is it a Public Right of Way?” (Plays trump card)
“Well firstly, dog walkers use it all the time and secondly, your guys mow it every fortnight, so I guess it is! ”
“All right then, I’ll make a note of it.” (Pompously)
“I was hoping if you could send a couple of your guys round, we could secure it. I don’t mind paying you a bit for your services in the circumstances.”
“We’re the Town Council. We don’t provide services like that”
(Resists temptation to say, well what do you do with your £1m budget I have to contribute to )
“OK, fair enough – well at least I’ve reported it.”

Within half an hour, two men in a Council Van turned up, relocated the blown-down panels off the grass and further into the tank, and rapidly beetled off!

So I saw Andy’s van was outside his Mom's, and went up there to tell him about the latest disaster. He promised he’d turn up on the Tuesday and was true to his word. In the meantime, Master O had arrived at the Nest, having started from Eastbourne the previous day and having to hole up overnight at a mate’s place in Andover because the cross-winds on the A303 were too bad for safe driving . He thought he’d come for a few days rest and relaxation. Little did he know …..

Monday afternoon, I advised him that as he was in rural Dorset now, forget the leisure, he’d have to buckle down and dig a few holes for new fence posts . First stop was Mole Valley Farmers, who were advertising “40% off all Wellies!” I actually didn’t have a pair, to my name and of course neither did The Managing Director (aka Master O), so we set sail and I managed to source a pair of traditional green rubber Wellington Boots in the right size. The Managing Director, as befits his status, opted for the fur-lined Cotswold Range! …..
https://www.cotswoldshoes.co.uk/collect ... 6080235618
I had to pay for those!

Well, to cut a long story short, we started at 9:30 and finished around 4:00. Andy masterminded it all but it was definitely a three-man job to move and re-erect some of the bigger panels. 8 new concreted-in fence posts were needed. One of my contributions was the removal of strands of ancient double-woven barbed wire hung on the fence by the previous occupant – that in itself was quite a hacksaw job. But we got there in the end – I wouldn’t say it’s perfect or it’ll be a long-term solution, but at least we’re secure again, and if Putin does go nuclear, I can guarantee that those fence posts will be the only thing left standing in Dorset.

I was accosted by one dog walker, who watched me hacking away at the wire – I had to shoo her dog away from it.
“I’ve come down from Lahn-dun, been here for twenty months now and never known weather like it. I’m thinking about going back ….”


So, back in the saddle yesterday in much calmer weather (albeit somewhat chilly in the breeze) with a Step 13 game at one of my favourite local grounds - Stalbridge.

From the centre of the village, you head up Barrow Hill, and just as you’re leaving the conurbation, turn right into The Park; the entrance to the Recreation Ground is a 100 yards or so down there on the left. There’s not much on-site parking so I tend to leave the car in the road, tucked well in as it’s narrow. As you enter the Rec, the changing room block is on the right, and the pitch a long uphill slog away on the far side of the cricket pitch. Just head for the horizon! There is a second full size pitch marked out on your left as you climb the slope; this might well be used for Stalbridge’s youth team fixtures. Once you’ve crested the summit, the views of the Blackmore Vale over towards Todber open up in front of you, with the far hills lying hazily in the late winter sunlight. This is Streetview from Barrow Hill just beyond The Park and gives you a flavour of the landscape:
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@50.95579 ... 312!8i6656

The main pitch has tubular railing on three sides; on the fourth side there’s a low wooden fence behind the dugouts, over which the ball frequently disappeared into the pastureland . The dugouts are of prefabricated sheet metal construction with rusted carrying handles at each end, so obviously portable! The home dugout contained an ancient wooden bench.

Puddletown Reserves went into this one as league leaders but over-haulable, so they needed a result today. Stalbridge were 6th in an 8 team league. The referee, apparently secured at the last moment, was said to be a Mr Pike from Okeford, an elderly, avuncular gentleman rather disconcertingly supporting a pair of black jeggings beneath his shorts , which didn’t prevent him from having a good game with just the one booking necessary when a home player mowed a Puddletown opponent down in midfield in the last minute.

Puddletown started well and immediately looked capable of carving through the home defence, but their keeper looked very nervous and displayed some difficulty handling the ball cleanly, not to mention kicking the ball upfield. It was Stalbridge who took the lead after 15m when hesitation in the away defence allowed S.8 a clean strike on goal from 10 yards. It was all a bit cat and mouse after that with neither side able to dominate the first half.

The game definitely needed something to make it “Interesting”, and that came shortly after the break when Puddletown equalised, a direct free kick swung into the area finding its way into the net via what seemed to be a hefty deflection off a player - it was difficult to see exactly what happened in the melee. After that, Puddletown took the game to Stalbridge in search of a winner, and this duly arrived after 81m, P.11 firing home from an acute angle.

An enjoyable game - but without particularly hitting any highlights.

26/02/22: Dorset League Division 5
Stalbridge Reserves 1 Puddletown Reserves 2
No admission charge, and no refreshments available on-site. But there’s quite a decent supermarket, Dike’s of Stalbridge, back in the village, a conglomeration of independent/Coop/Nisa, where I was able to source a Ginsters Chicken and Bacon Slice (£2.05), a tub of Coop Medium Curry Powder (£1.55) some gluten-free shortbreads (£2.39) and an Hovis Seeded Loaf (£2.10)
Attendance: 17

Crommers - do ever go and see Nostell Miners Welfare FC? I think they're in your village?

[Ally]

Mr Pike from Okeford.

Your shopping haul sounded like the mystery bag selection on Ready Steady Cook.

Great read Ossie. Thanks.

[Kaz]

That's an interesting sandwich filling there, our Ossie!

That last from Lahndun sounds just like Harry, who insists it's colder here than he's used to Ok H, that'll be why almost every other garden has some sort of palm tree in it

Great read Ossie

[cromwell]

Puddletown Reserves! Love it, it's like a name from the Art of Coarse Football or something.
Great report Os.
Nostell Miners Welfare are indeed in our village, at the top end. The team has lasted longer than the pit did! Nostell pit having shut down circa 1987.
I haven't been for a long time Os. The village has another team, Crofton sports, who are more of a village team and who play at a lower level. Now you've mentioned it I might pay a visit though.