12/12/20 - A phone call from Master O. He has been given the green light to resume work from Sunday 20th December, so he wants to come down a visit us for a few days next week. And he wants a proper celebratory Christmas Dinner laid on ….
“Oh blinkin’ heck
,” groans Mrs O as I relay the message.
“The full works, I’m afraid,” I sympathise. “That’s stuffin’ balls, bread sauce, roast parsnips, Auntie Betty’s, pigs in blankets and devils on horseback.”
“Devils on what??”
“Something to do with prunes, I think,” I say, racking the few brains I have left.
Out with the trusty copy of Mrs. Beaton ….there’s something about them on Page 421.
“He can stuff his own balls,” mutters Mrs O darkly.
At which point I add: “And he said how about a gammon joint on the following day …” before retiring rapidly.
So Ossie is despatched midweek to the town to see what festive delights he can source. And as usual, he finishes up in the local Polish Community Shop. It’s a strange, dark place
, crammed to the rafters with serried ranks of bottles, tins and jars, all of which have incomprehensible labels. Now I work on a simple principle: if it’s authentic Polish fayre, it has to have a “Z” in it.
And when it comes to the crunch, the more “Z”s the merrier! So here’s the Ostrich’s Simple Guide to Polish Food:
If it’s in a tall jar and has white stuff in it, it’s sauerkraut.
If it’s in a squat jar and has purple stuff in it, it’s beetroot.
If it’s in a tin, it’s probably fish, but the jury’s out.
And if it doesn’t have a “Z” in it, it’s Bombale which is a small doughnut filled with cheese curd, except you can’t taste the cheese curd.
So, armed with a tall jar of Kapusta Kiszona, a squat jar of Buraczki Zasmazane (3 “Z”s!
), and about a dozen Bombales, I head for the fruit and deli counter. The fruit is always amazing - the eating apples are at least twice the size of a supermarket Braeburn, but I have no idea what the variety is. And the deli is packed with link after link of Polish sausage. Now I am a connoisseur of Polish sausage. Again, I have no idea what each one is, but I can categorise them perfectly by colour. There’s brown, dark brown, very dark brown, and black. I always choose the black …..
So to Saturday, and a match, for once, in my home county. Now the Dorset League has, in its infinite wisdom, decided to suspend games in all 4 of their leagues until 9th January, despite the fact we’re only in Tier 2, and most other local County leagues resumed playing straight after Lockdown 2.0 on 5th December. The Dorset FA (a separate organisation) have, however, scheduled the first two rounds of their County Cup fixtures in December, despite the fact that I thought they’d taken a decision a long time back to scrap these competitions for the 2020/21 season. There’s the Senior Cup, the Intermediate Cup, the Junior Cup and the Minor Cup, (which I assume must be the size of an egg cup
). So a trawl of their (confusing) website revealed a number of interesting possibilities, and when Drimpton confirmed late Friday night on their FB page that their game at Shillingstone was going ahead, that’s the one I headed for.
Shillingstone is a long straggly village on the A357 a few miles north of Blandford Forum. The football ground is on the Rec which is at the southern end of the village, up Hine Town Lane. It’s an open, spacious venue with a neat-looking brick-built cricket pavilion slap in the middle of the campus; the village cricket pitch lies on the south side of it whilst the soccer pitch occupies on the north side. Next to the pavilion is a similarly-sized wooden building with a single door and no windows, the purpose of which was not immediately apparent
. Behind the Rec runs the old Somerset & Dorset railway line (Bournemouth to Bath) which is now a cycle way and appeared well-used this afternoon, and beyond that there’s fine views rising up to Hambledon Hill.
I usually try to find something positive to say about the matches I attend, but occasionally I’m left struggling – and this game, between the Dorset League Division 4 hosts and their Perry Street League Division 3 opponents (Step 12 v Step 14), was one such occasion. Far too many misplaced passes, little creativity and some wild attempts at shooting characterised a match which in all fairness should have ended the 90 minutes at 0-0, but quite unexpectedly failed to do so by virtue of two simple headed goals in the last three minutes. On a very chilly day, it was a blessed relief to escape the purgatory of extra time!
On the plus side, we did have two excellent keepers (never a dodgy custodian around when you need one
), and a referee who kept the game flowing (although a little less leniency in the penalty area would have been welcome). Standout player for me was probably Drimpton’s no.11, Tim Hussey, who at least got some decent shots on target in the first half, and Drimpton just about had the better of the play overall, but on the other hand they were guilty of the Miss of the Match on 62m when a cross into the box saw their no.16 completely miss the ball in front of goal, and their no.7, next in line, promptly hit it over the bar
. Let’s just say not a game to live long in the memory.
Given it was a 1:30 p.m. kick off, home by 4:00 despite having to follow a number of cyclists wearing reindeer antlers and towing a small cart, and then running into the remains of the local hunt – ambling horses, stern-looking riders and Landrovers with horse-boxes all over the road
. At least my return journey was quicker than that of a fellow Bournemouth-based groundhopper I know who also turned up at the match – he found himself irredeemably gridlocked in the tiny car-park at the end of the match; I’d had the foresight to park in the road outside the ground!
Dorset County FA Minor Cup Round 2
Shillingstone 0 Drimpton 2
No admission, programme or refreshments. There was a Co-op in the village, but right up the other end so I didn’t bother.
Attendance 25
And finally from the town’s FB page:
I am relocating from Poole. Flat is on the market, looking to move too Gillingham / Shaftesbury. Any areas to avoid or to concentrate on?
Responses ranged from the erudite ....
A friendly town with a tremendous number of clubs, societies and charities to join and a community owned leisure centre to be proud of with excellent footpaths and walking groups to suit all abilities. You just have to avoid engaging with dyspeptic characters on facebook.
.... to the succinct:
Do yourself a favour and stay in Poole fella ... Trust me.
. I know there's been a bit of a backlash against this latest scrapping of grassroots soccer, but well, if you're going to have a lockdown, you've got to do it properly. So no grumbling from the Ostrich's Nest. To be honest, getting 13 games in between August and now was a "bonus" I didn't think I would have seen, given all the "politicking" over sport during the summer.
Anyway, there’s parking for around 50 cars by the recreation ground (all spaces taken today), a large wooden-clad cricket pavilion off to the right, two small wooden dugouts for the soccer pitch and what appeared to be a covered shelter (I’d hesitate to call it a stand) in the bottom corner with bench seating for about a dozen spectators, but as the local yoof were congregating there en masse, I didn’t investigate it any further. 
