So up at Shaftesbury this morning:
"Do you want to get the ticket, luv, while I get the carrier bags from the boot?"
"&%$^$^*%

There I am, minding my own business, when suddenly all hell breaks loose ....
"VEHICLE UNDER ATTACK. PLEASE CALL THE POLICE
VEHICLE UNDER ATTACK. PLEASE CALL THE POLICE
VEHICLE UNDER ATTACK. PLEASE CALL THE POLICE"



I hare it over to the source of the commotion, to find Mrs O glaring at the ticket machine, and right next to her a G4S Courier Service car emitting the loud squawking message, with an angry and embarrassed female operative trying to turn the vehicle's malfunctioning alarm off! A final thump, and Mrs O emerges triumphant with a ticket.

Back at the car, I says: "You know, if you run out of small change, you've only got to ask me, not rob a bank ....."

Mrs O's response was not suitable for a genteel forum such as this ....


