Another Load of Cobblers ....

[Kaz]

I think so too They eat seaweed in Wales, lava bread Full of vitamins and iodine

[Workingman]

They also drink Brains beer. Best avoided.

[TheOstrich]

A slow week, punctuated by a (yet another) State Visit by Master O (I swear these NHS workers have more holidays than working days ). At least he didn’t have a fence to repair this time . He did ask my advice what he should buy Mrs O for Mother’s Day, and I suggested a nice box of truffles or chocolates, preferably dark chocolate as that’s Mrs O’s preference. What he eventually handed over was 2 Crunchie Bars!

I would just mention that we have registered to host a Ukrainian refugee, although I think the chances of this actually happening are pretty slim. The Government’s website initially crashed but we did manage to complete the on-line form eventually, and we have got a reference number. Of course, the first push is to welcome and house those refugees who already have family in the UK and that in itself is taking an inordinate amount of time due to the usual UK bureaucratic inefficiency . Having looked at a couple of refugee hosting websites, it seems that they are working to a general criteria of “don’t apply to host unless you live in a large town / city with good transport links” which is quite understandable as they will want a nucleus or a network of families in a particular area they can easily support. Our town doesn’t meet either category. Additionally, Dorset County Council have observed that they would prefer refugees to be concentrated in the Weymouth and Dorchester area for similar reasons.

Locally, a Town Councillor has posted on the town’s FB page that she is looking to co-ordinate local response in this area, and asked any potential hosts who have registered to contact her. As far as I can see, there’s only been 4 (public) responses to that post and 2 of those were in Shaftesbury – those latter 2 say they have completed visa applications, so the inference is that they know some Ukrainian refugees to link up with already. So that’s hardly signs of a “local support nucleus” – in contrast, Marlow, for example, has some 35 hosts in that town.

So we’re just waiting on events and I guess much will depend on how many refugees the UK are prepared to allow here – despite expansive Government comments, I doubt very much it will be in practice “limitless”.......

So to the sport, and back to the rugby field:

I had to stay local this weekend in order to ferry Mrs O around, but I misread the start times for the rugby, and she finished up having to walk to her friends – luckily for my sake not too far ! North Dorset’s first team clinched the divisional title at Bournemouth last weekend, so no pressure today against the bottom-placed team, Salisbury 2nds. A gorgeous spring-like afternoon to be out and about with not a cloud in the sky , only a couple of buzzards circling over the nearby fields, and a pleasant warm breeze rather than the Arctic gales of recent weeks.

Salisbury are a club who have been very much in decline over recent years, a great shame, and I see their 3rds got tanked as well yesterday. They were no match for the home team who scored in the second minute and never looked back, employing hard running with some judicious territorial kicking. The final result fell just short of my record aggregate score of 119.

Meanwhile on the adjacent pitch, it was 3rd vs 4th in the league, and Combe Down provided a bit stiffer opposition for the Badgers, but the latter knuckled down and 26-0 up at the interval, piled on the points in the second half. There best attacking ploy seemed to be the short pass, duly missed by the intended recipient, so it turned inadvertently into a long pass out to the wings , from where several tries were run in!

A good afternoon of rugby in the warm sunshine.

26/03/22 - Tribute Dorset & Wilts 1 South (Level 8) (14:30)
North Dorset RFC 104 – Salisbury II RFC 7
No admission or programme.
Refreshments: an ‘am sandwich comprising 1 slice of bread and 1 slice of ‘am, made up for me by Mrs O, so I wasn’t tempted by the chips . The weight loss, which was going swingingly until last Friday, has suddenly ground to a halt, nay, even gone into reverse …. so I am now on the “Churchill Diet”. When polar bears invade the Canadian town of Churchill to forage through people’s rubbish bins for food, they are captured, drugged, put in a cage, and lifted out by helicopter to a faraway location where they can’t indulge in human treats. I am only allowed one single meal today, of steamed broccoli, and am awaiting the chopper as we speak …..
Attendance: 78 (h/c) and:

Tribute Dorset & Wilts 2 Central (Level 9) (14:30)
North Dorset II RFC 65 – Combe Down II RFC 0
Attendance: 24 (h/c)

[Kaz]

*Waiting for the YouTube footage of a large, drugged Ostrich in a cage, being swung from a helicopter*

I do hope you hear something positive about your registration, Ossie. The process does seem to be ludicrously weighed down by red tape from all I hear - but bless you for pursuing it ((((x))))

Crunchie bars!!!!?!!!!

[miasmum]

I love a Crunchie bar, I'll adopt him for you or swap him for a bar of Bournville or a box of truffles

Well done on the registration. There was a lovely lady yesterday, on Facebook looking for the Brighton region as she has friends there. She was struggling because she had a beautiful little poodle that had always gone to work with her and was very well behaved. But lots of people wouldn't consider it

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=71 ... 63&__cft__[0]=AZVHKSSPwzYR51azOSrQNSSb6zdxu4a4jGap6lYIEbFGpU-Js0git3_v4CocplzxhLSZ3TRAiyqmWl6a-gg8T8RXatLvEpnaYpqgBevKKPHqOWyI7Trzb2kZYKRGx1ZupVaIfmxeHujKXMx1Kn2XDkJrmHbMcchxBkRGPwJCJrJIeA&__tn__=EH-y-R

[Ally]

Two Crunchie bars sound heavenly Os.

Nothing beats my Mother's Day gift in 2000 when Jacob presented me with....drum roll.... an iceberg lettuce.

It transpired he'd overheard me saying the previous day in discussion with Don about a forthcoming salad that I'd like an iceberg lettuce.

[Kaz]

Ally that's priceless, and really sweet!.

Shell, what a shame

[Kaz]

Oh I just followed the link, it seems there is an update and she has a sponsor!

[TheOstrich]

Ossie thinks he last left you looking askance at a bowl of steamed broccoli . Well, I’m happy to report it did the trick, and the famous bird’s owner rapidly started shedding weight again, culminating in a new “low” of 13 stone 12.2 lbs by last Wednesday morning. At which point I “declared” (this result being not too far removed from the “target” set for me back in 2019 ), and went online to fill in the dreaded Econsult Medication Review. The local surgery is currently caught between a rock and a hard place; on the one hand they are trying to get people back in for face-to-face appointments (something the recalcitrant Ostrich is determinedly trying to avoid at all costs ), on the other hand, judging by their plaintive website messages, everyone there’s gone down with the Covid, the rates being abnormally high locally, and they can’t staff the place .

So on-line it was, and although it’s a fairly painless exercise, you have to be careful not to fall into various Elephant Traps :

“What medicines do you take?”
“[types out long list]”
“Do you understand what each one is for?”
“Yes”
“OK, smarty pants, tell us what each one does then ….”
“Oh gawd ... ” [ransacks last prescription haul to dig out the paperwork on each drug, then changes the wording around so it doesn’t look too obvious I’ve cribbed the answer ]

And:

“Do you ever forget to take all your medicines at the prescribed intervals?”
Choose from:
“All the time / Most of the time / Occasionally /Never”

Well of course the temptation is to say “Never”, but the truth is “Occasionally”. Well, nobody’s perfect, least of all the bird , and the correct response would be "very, very, very occasionally" – but that’s not a given option . The dilemma is that if you say “Never”, they will think “Liar”, and if you say “Occasionally” they will say “AHA!” and put the thumbscrews on you.

Is saying “Never” just a mini pork pie, or is it the full Melton Mowbray? You decide …..

Anyway, did it all, and relaxed, expecting my Review would disappear into an electronic black hole and I wouldn’t hear anything for a month. I got phoned back by a doctor within 2 hours ….

He was very apologetic they hadn’t seen me for 2 ½ years (“Don’t worry about it,” said Ossie, magnanimously ) and very grateful I’d completed the Review (I suspect a lot of folk can’t be assed, despite the threat of “No more pills”). The upshot was they want a blood test, and that I can live with, especially as they couldn’t arrange it before the end of this month ….

So to the soccer, and a tidy-up job this weekend on South Gloucestershire-based club Tytherington Rocks - the first game I saw them play, last August at Sherborne Town, was abandoned midway through the first half due to a serious injury to one of their players .

The hosts were Wincanton Town, but Wincanton’s first team has recently decamped to Gillingham Town’s Woodwater ground for the remainder of the season due to severe drainage issues at their Moor Lane pitch. Necessary remedial work is said to be going to cost an arm and a leg (I was quoted £60k of which I think they have to pay £30k, the rest being a grant), and will probably involve using a special machine to sink numerous trenches (each 1 metre apart) across the pitch with a special infill based on rubber chippings (?) as a soakaway; in fact, it sounds very much like the same sort of work Gillingham Town had to carry out at their own ground during the last pre-season. My mate A., a Wincanton resident, is unsympathetic.

“They built the bl@@dy thing on a bog! ”
“How do you know?”
“My uncle used to farm that land. He couldn’t believe his luck when the Town Council offered to buy it from him … ”

Anyway, moving the match to Gillingham Town worked for me – less petrol!

Coming into the fixture on an unbeaten run of 22 matches, Wincanton had already earned an end-of-season play-off spot and after this Saturday’s games, they are up to third in the table on goal difference from rivals Warminster Town, and are hard on the heels of Welton Rovers in second place. It was a bit of a stuttering performance by the Wasps, though, and all credit to Tytherington who displayed an impressive work ethic and never stopped running. Although Wincanton showed early intent with a 25 yard snapshot from Irwin that Rocks keeper Clark pushed wide, the home team never really got out of first gear, and it was only a 45th minute breakthrough goal, Garner flighting a lovely hanging cross from the right to the far post for Williams to nod in, that probably saved them from a half-time bollocking!

A better second half display brought them two further goals. On 53m, Atkins positioned a delicate header just inside the post, and on 72m, Williams swung a huge cross-field pass over to Quirke who brought it down with one touch and slammed the ball past Clark – a superb strike . Wincanton finished with 10 men, having used all three substitutes and then losing a player to injury, but the result was never in doubt. A decent enough game on a bitterly cold afternoon, punctuated by the odd brief hail shower. We could see two huge rain-storms on the horizon, but with little wind, they looked stationary – until the wind suddenly picked up, and one of them came towards the town, sending the crowd scurrying to the stands for shelter!

It was interesting to see Mark and Spencer Chinnock running the lines today, father and son, and this was the second time I’ve seen them officiate together this season.

On an infrastructure note, Vic might be interested to hear the old, iconic Hardings Lane stand has now had its roof removed, presumably as a safety measure after arson damage, and also possibly to stop it being a congregation point for the nefarious activities of the local yoof of an evening. The tiered concrete foundations are still there. Since Gillingham Town Reserves imploded and folded just after Christmas (a long saga I won’t dwell on), I suspect the old ground has not seen any use at all.

02/04/22 - Western League Division 1
Wincanton Town 3 Tytherington Rocks 0 (played at Gillingham Town FC)
Admission: £4 concession (£6 otherwise)
Programme: £1 - 28pp, good content
Refreshments: 2 x hot pasties £2.50 each, from the hatch. Choice of Cornish, cheese and onion and cheese and beans. Didn’t really fancy the beans, TBH.
Attendance: 46

[Kaz]

Mark and Spencer!?

Well done on the weight loss, that's brilliant xx