Vocal Voices

"Look what I've got!" carolled the Ostrich.
"You've been down the Polish shop again," said Mrs O, suspiciously.
"Yes, it's some sort of fancy gateau, look at the picture!"
"it's never a cake. How are you going to get a cake into a thin box like that?"
"Oh!," shame-faced ....
"Give it to me."

The box is opened and reveals a packet. Much tutting and harrumphing from Mrs O ensues.

"I think it's a sort of Angel Delight," she intones, "but I can't understand the instructions."
"Why not?"
"They're all in Polish ....."

"No problem," says Ossie, "I'll use Google Translate!"
Google Translate twice appears to plead insanity and once asks for asylum, but 15 minutes later, the bird emerges triumphant.

"Pour the 250ml flattened cream and the 100ml cold milk into a high dish.
Fill the bag with the bag, and mix at the highest possible speed for 3 minutes.
Use the finished cream to transfer and decorate the dough or cake directly after cooking.
Insert into the ice rink for 3 hours to cool."

So we bought a tub of whipping cream and tried it out this afternoon. It worked. Sort of. It's a bit crunchy but we finished up with a pudding bowl full of Irish Whisky flavoured "Krem" and we've just had some on top of a slice of apple cake. It's delicious, and about 90% proof. The Krem is now happily cooling in the ice rink, and Mrs O has gone to sleep it off.

It sounds a bit like the filling for the Polish version of something like our vanilla slices only not custard, and not vanilla flavoured.

I quite like "Translate". I was looking for a goulash soup recipe - Gulaschsuppe.

On the website, which was partly in English, up pops this as a description:
"Különösen ajánljuk gulyásleves, bableves, székelykáposzta, babgulyás és bográcsgulyás készítéséhez. A szárított magyar paprikának köszönhetoen biztos a siker! A kockát alkotó zöldségek, fuszerek és egyéb alapanyagok szárítva kerülnek a kockába, így hozzáadott tartósítószerre nincs szükség., Magyar paprikával"

So, I puts it in Translate to get it from Polish into English and it returned:

Különösen ajánljuk gulyásleves, bableves, székelykáposzta, babgulyás és bográcsgulyás készítéséhez. A szárított Hungarian paprikának köszönhetoen biztos a siker! A cube alkotó zöldségek, fuszerek és egyéb alapanyagok szárítva kerülnek a kockába, így hozzáadott tartósítószerre nincs szükség, Hungarian paprika soup!

I mean it sounds delicious, doesn't it?

LOL!

From the Hungarian .....

"We especially recommend it for making goulash soup, bean soup, Transylvanian cabbage, bean stew and cauli grating.
Thanks to dried Hungarian peppers, success is certain!
The vegetables, grouts and other ingredients that make up the cube are dried, so no added preservatives are required.
Hungarian paprika soup!"

Transylvanian cabbage sounds scary, and cauli grating sounds like it might be an indictable offence!

The Hungarian translation make no more sense than the gobbledygook one.

When I was young the mum of a neighbour and school friend, 'Jako' Jakobowski, used to make these 'treats' and they might be nearer to the thing intended.

They were a sort of cross between an uncooked (cherry brandy mousse) cheesecake base and a custard slice with a sweet puff pastry top, but instead of icing they had berries and then single cream poured over.

I feel an experiment coming on....