Vocal Voices

My inlaws really are quite odd sometimes!!!

They both struggle to get about far - although this is more to do with the fact that they just don't go out and walk anywhere rather than because of anything medical. They tend to spend their days sat in their armchairs watching tv and driving everywhere. They never think about going out for a walk. They are both the same age as my mum - 71.

Anyway, as you know we have an allotment. At the bottom of our allotments is our inlaws flat. Literally, it backs onto the allotments. You go up six steps and there is a locked gate (to which they have a key) and this brings you out on to the grass parking area for the allotments. Our allotment is at the top which is a slight slope and takes me about one minute to walk up to it. It really is not at all far from their flat.

On the allotment we currently have raspberries, gooseberries, rhubarb, red and white currants, broad beans, French beans, cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, lettuce, radish, spring onion and courgette all ready for picking.

We have always said that my parents and his parents can go and help themselves to things from our allotment. My mum often walks on from her house (a 40 minute round trip - she doesn't drive so walking is her only option) to pick some bits and pieces - probably twice a week. The in laws never, ever go up there.

The inlaws mentioned that they wanted some gooseberries and I told them that we had loads and that they really needed picking before they started to turn.

We called at theirs yesterday after we had been to the allotment. There, sitting on the table waiting to be put away was their Tesco delivery, which included gooseberries, raspberries, cabbage, cauliflower, lettuce and broccoli. They had actually bought all the stuff that they could have got for free from our allotment. When Mick asked them why they response - it's too far to walk to your allotment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is really quite bad and actually very sad Debih; what a waste. Not only of their money but also their life really

meriad wrote:That is really quite bad and actually very sad Debih; what a waste. Not only of their money but also their life really

It is very sad Ria. It infuriates Mick and I.

They are capable of walking but they just don't. And because they don't it is hard work when they do. They spend their days sitting in front of the tv- even on lovely days like this.

They have never really walked anywhere but before they moved to their first floor flat about 6 years ago, they lived in a four storey house and I think it was the stairs that kept them relatively fit. Since moving they have kept up the same routine (ie - no exercise at all) and so have just piled on more weight and struggle to get around. We all went out for a meal on Friday and they gave my mum a lift. They couldn't get in the car park closest to the restaurant so had to park up the hill a short walk away and my mum said that they both really struggled to walk down the hill to the restaurant. Mick had to go and fetch the car for them as they didn't think they could manage the walk back to the car park (it was about 10 minutes away, with a steep but short pathway en route).

I have tried to explain to them that if they started going for short walks every day their fitness levels will soon start to improve. I know we live in a hilly area but we do have flat bits. They have a bus stop right next to their flat. They could walk down the hill into town (a 20 minute slow walk), wander around town and the park and then get the bus back. They could drive to the canal and walk along the towpath, stopping off at the lovely café.

They did take my advice once and went for a walk around one of our local parks. But I know they only did it once.

The canal is a 10 minute drive away from their flat, as is the local park they walked around last month. They have lived in the area for 43 years and have never been to the canal and last month was the first (and only) time they have been to that particular park.

What a shame They sound as though they have decided that they are "old", and have to act "old", which of course is nonsense as many older people these days stay pretty active - look at our older VV people here, they are a lovely lively lot

My MiL is almost 80 but is busier than me, on the whole with her voluntary work and her friends, and her gardening I found out yesterday that one of the ladies I chat to regularly at the WW group (in fact she came for a quick coffee afterwards with me and my other friend V) is 76!!! I would have put her at 65 at the very most. V and I both nearly fell off our chairs! She looks young, which helps, but mainly it's her outlook and 'pep' that made her seem much younger!

They aren't doing themselves any favours Debih, whereas your mum seems to be doing really well! (((x)))

Kaz wrote:
They aren't doing themselves any favours Debih, whereas your mum seems to be doing really well! (((x)))

Mum is joining a walking group in September Kaz. She loves walking.

She tries to go out every day, even just for half an hour. She was talking about it at the meal on Friday and my inlaws couldn't understand why you would bother!

My FIL is like your in laws he won't even walk to the letterbox at the end of his driveway (our letterboxes aren't in our front doors)

I truly believe he has given up and is waiting to die and enjoying the ride on the way.

I am 81 and Don is 80 and i must admit we don`t walk far now.
Don loves walking but after 6 strokes he finds it increasingly difficult.
He still has a wander round while i am in the shops
I have a good walk round the shopping centres
To go out for a walk seems to be rubbing his nose in it so i don`t
It is so sad as he used to walk miles everyday

lissie

lissie wrote:I am 81 and Don is 80 and i must admit we don`t walk far now.
Don loves walking but after 6 strokes he finds it increasingly difficult.
He still has a wander round while i am in the shops
I have a good walk round the shopping centres
To go out for a walk seems to be rubbing his nose in it so i don`t
It is so sad as he used to walk miles everyday

lissie

I think that's why I find it so frustrating Lissie. There is no medical reason that they can't be out walking - at 71 they are still really relatively young - they are just too lazy!

My dad was a big walker and it was really upsetting for all us when he could no longer get about because of his arthritis and his loss of sight. That is probably why it annoys me so much and that the inlaws are just wasting their life by sitting in their armchairs and watching tv all day - before my dad died he would have given anything to be able to be up and about.

Nowt as queer as folk as they say!

I can't believe they'd buy that fruit and veg when you have so much that they can help themselves to.
It makes sense for them to use what you've got and kindly said they can have - it's a good situation for both of you...so why wouldn't they?!

It is a shame your hubby can't get out like he used to lissie but it's nice to know he'll happily wander when you're in the shops.

What a shame and free veg and fruit I hope they get walking in the future but it d seem like it
I have to admit Bill and I used to walk along the sea front 4 or 5days a week
And would use the bus me with my shopping trolly
But now I use a taxi and once the town is less busy I shall be out and about
It's .murder at the moment with mobility scooters and kids pushchairs and such
Ho roll on September