Vocal Voices

Next door (nice one's) informed us that they're having their house painted, starting this morning - that means all the old paint will be blasted off by high pressure water - so we've parked Hiho far away, moved all the plants, so they don't get covered in paint flakes

And Bente has just rung, in a complete panic. Her friends are arriving later today and she wanted to clean the house, in preparation.

She doesn't know how to clean her ceramic hob and can I help? Well, so sorry Bente, we've got friends coming over in an hour, so I can't. But let me tell you how to do it.

So I've given her instructions, she had to find the hob cleaner first But how do I get all the burnt food off?? Try wiping it over when you spill things, Bente, makes it much easier.

Then it was how do I clean her showers, so sparkley. Gave instructions for that too

And what about the oven, she said - I've sprayed it, but it won't come off. Erm, Bente, what have i told you about the sides of the oven???? They're self-cleaned, do not put anything on them.

So that's one Bosch oven that going to be replaced, next week

I admire you Ton - I'd have given up on that woman by now!

We have Ally, she's been sacked

Blimey what a PITA she is!! DIY Bente

I was expecting something like this

Her new cleaner won't work Saturdays and that's normally when the flights from Norway arrive and leave - so that's her scuppered for August. And no, there is not a hope in wotsits that I'll be going up that track - not even if she comes down here and picks me up.

And I think that'll be the next thing she'll be asking

Does the stupid woman not understand the word no??!!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

And just incase she's really thick that's a NO!

Oven cleaner on a self clean oven? (Shaking my head) what's she doing cleaning the oven anyway? Surely it can't be that bad, I've moved into some flats with pretty atrocious looking ovens, but they still worked.

Definitely sounds like a split best made

Oh blimey Ton she sounds a complete nightmare, I'm just surprised you stayed with her for so long

She obviously doesn't understand the word NO, about time she learnt

If you could see the state of the hob and oven, once she's finished with it She doesn't clean them - at all - that was my job Oh and her fridge/freezers had to be cleaned every time I went up there

But no longer

Dancing girls please