Vocal Voices

As a self-appointed Minister Without Portfolio (I'm a pensioner, I can't afford one ) of the VV Party, I think it's high time we started getting our manifesto together on these boards in order to meet the May elections.

Let me start:

All bicycles must be licenced and insured for road use.
Insurance to cover third party liability and private medical plan for the cyclist.
Licence numbers must be displayed front and rear of each bicycle so the cyclist can be readily identified.
Licence charge: £10 for one year or £45 for 5 years.

What would be your pledge?

The State will provide all Ministers with a portfolio - brown leather with brass buckles.
Nobody will be allowed to load the conveyor at the supermarket checkout until they have their payment method in their hand.
Nobody will be allowed to board a bus unless they have their fare or bus pass in their hand.
Anybody using a mobile phone whilst trying to hold a conversation with the person in front of them will be covered in purple dye and made to dress like a Smurf. Those who already like to dress like Smurfs will be shot.
Compulsory training and a test will be introduced for umbrella users. In their first year their umbrellas will have big round sponges fitted to the canopy spokes.
Women's leggings will come in sizes no bigger than size 12 and a permit, issued after psychological testing, will be needed to purchase them.
Men will be forced to take hints after suitable training, using cat-o'-nine tails and electric shock therapy, has been administered.

Not thought of mine yet

That really made me laugh, Frank.

I'll have to put my thinking cap on - (the one with bells on).

Anybody buying a takeaway after 8pm will need an 'I am sober certificate'.
A gert big spike in the driver's seat area will be deployed from underground unless the vehicle has an electronically recognised disabled badge.
Parking spaces for Parent and Child will be located as far away as possible from the supermarket entrance in order to reduce child obesity.
All GP receptionists will attend Customer Facing Skills courses before being let loose on patients.
We will go totally metric. We will not give an inch as we march the extra mile to metrication.

Workingman wrote:Parking spaces for Parent and Child will be located as far away as possible from the supermarket entrance in order to reduce child obesity.

Parking restrictions between the hours of 8am-9am and 3pm-4pm on all streets within a one mile radius of schools, again to reduce child obesity.

It will be illegal for 12 year old employees with pimples to address considerably older customers by their Christian name without asking if it's ok. That will be 'Mrs Jones' to you 'Kevin from SofaStore'

Quite, Kaz, Karen, err Mrs Jones.

Oh, I can just hear Kevin singing....... Me and Mrs Jones.........

I said to Mick, I bet he went home last night and said "I had a right old battle-axe to deal with at work today"