Well that's solved that problem!

[JoM]

We have three nephews who live in Wales - they're 24, 22 and 15. We rarely see them and it annoys me that we never ever get a thank you for any presents we send to them and never have done. I keep saying to John that he should mention to his sister that there's no point really buying for the children anymore - hers and ours - now they're all getting older but he doesn't like mentioning it and I don't have the kind of relationship with her that I'd pick up the phone and chat to her.

Last February Tom didn't get so much as a birthday card from them. John's Mom said that his sister must've forgot, yet she was in the area and called in two days later while all of his cards were still on display.
Incidentally John's Mom is onto us everytime one of the nephews has a birthday to make sure we don't forget but it obviously doesn't work both ways!

At Easter she sent Easter eggs for Tom and Joe with her son who was visiting his Nan, John asked me if we had any for them and I said no, we never send them anything at Easter. His Mom was going there for Easter and insisted that we must give them eggs, I insisted that we mustn't. John told me, after she'd called him at work just before she left, that she was going to pick some up at the supermarket from us and we could give her the money. When she got back she wanted £12, for three eggs. The ones that Tom and Joe had had off their Aunty were the ones that the supermarkets were selling at £1. We never paid her.

So...MIL was going down to South Wales for Christmas so we dropped off presents for the nephews for her to take, and a card for the whole family. John's sister had been up here twice in the fortnight before Christmas but hadn't left anything for Tom and Joe, and no card either. I assumed that maybe she was late with her shopping and John's Mom would bring them back with her when she returned.

Well, she's back today and nothing has been sent for Tom and Joe and she's not even sent a card.

That's three names crossed off the present list for next year...

[Kaz]

That's incredibly rude Jo - I don't blame you one iota!! I would do the same.................

We always give our niece and nephews money - and are always thanked - but when I spoke to one of my SILs on Saturday she said that now her boys are both in their 20s and earning that it was time we stopped and not to bother next year - but she said it very nicely We will carry on with the younger ones though until they reach the same age I reckon......

[tonicha]

Very rude, I should just ignore them - that's what I'm doing with our lot

[Ally]

Rude.

Our 3 lads get money now and without fail ring the person to thank them.

And in Joanie's case send her a thank you note (only because a phone call would confuse her )

[Kaz]

My two do the same Ally - it used to be thank you notes but these days they ring to thank and have a little chat. It doesn't take much effort does it, and is only good manners

[Ally]

No Kaz, it doesn't take much.

It's how we were brought up and now mine do the same.

[Kaz]

Quite, same here x

[tonicha]

Mine used to, all of them, but something has changed

[saundra]

you do right jo ignore them from now on
and tell your MIL why if she asks
dont worry about it

[fudgie21]

I got heartily sick of all this carry on years ago, my husbands only has one brother and he has three children, all married with three children each so that makes an extended family of 17, we rarely see any of them unless we invite them for a meal/bbq in summer, we have an extended family of 6 with no grand children. Like others on here we never recieved a thankyou for gifts sent or a card in return to ours so we stopped everything and we don't buy any gifts at all for anyone and they don't buy for us, we had 15 friends and their dogs here for egg and chips Christmas day and had a ball, no stress or hassel then we all went for a walk with the dogs and they all dropped off home on the way back, it was a lovely day enjoyed by all. I know this isn't other folks idea of how to spend Christmas but it works for us.