Vocal Voices

Someone..anyone..kill me now!!

I have been left strict instructions by the gardener (Don ) to water the garden once the sun has gone/going down.

Determined to put Charlie Dimmock to shame I got ready with the hosepipe tonight.

Unfortunately, also a la Dimmock, I had no bra on under my skimpy vest.

Unfortunately, unlike Miss Dimmock who wore jeans, my chosen attire for my nether regions was bikini bottoms.

Unfortunately, unlike Miss Dimmock who had a well behaved hosepipe, the nozzle on mine came flying off whilst on the jet wash button.
I got soaked..and I mean SOAKED!

Unfortunately for me the Chinese takeaway delivery man chose right then to turn up with my order! Like when has HE ever turned up on time?!

I squelched all the way up the path back to the house to get my purse, grabbed the kitchen towel to cover my wet lady bumps and squelched back down to the smirking driver.

Oh the shame.

Big ooooppppss
Serves you right for ordering takeaway

One day I'll tell you about the person in the flat upstairs from Bb's, who never had anything but takeaways

LOL Will you tell us when we're 21, Di?

Ally my tussle with D's hosepipe was tame by comparison, but then her neighbours were spared the scary sight of me in bikini bottoms

Cut price chinese for you in future then?

LOL Will you tell us when we're 21, Di?
At least

Sometimes I used to cut my mum and dad's garden hedge in my bikini, years later one of the neighbours told them they'd never forget it

Kaz wrote:LOL Will you tell us when we're 21, Di?

Ally my tussle with D's hosepipe was tame by comparison, but then her neighbours were spared the scary sight of me in bikini bottoms

Cut price chinese for you in future then?

The worst of it is his wife works at the market stall where I buy my fruit.

I'll never be able to buy melons again.

Diflower wrote:LOL Will you tell us when we're 21, Di?
At least

Sometimes I used to cut my mum and dad's garden hedge in my bikini, years later one of the neighbours told them they'd never forget it

Mr. Osc says is there any chance of a few photos................

Osc wrote:Mr. Osc says is there any chance of a few photos................

Maybe once the delivery man's uploaded them

JoM wrote:

Osc wrote:Mr. Osc says is there any chance of a few photos................

Maybe once the delivery man's uploaded them [/quote

Funnily enough I have yet to book a return flight and after tonight's mortification number 337 methinks I'd best stay away for good.

You'd need a whole new wardrobe Ally - all-covering, all-weatherproof...honestly, the humiliation is worth staying