Advice needed

[shazsha]

My mum's elderly friend, Ruth, is 88 today.
Three weeks ago she was taken into hospital and I took her little dog for her.
They let her home today and I took round her dog and a birthday pressy.
She only has a second cousin as family and she works.
When I went round today Ruth was very confused and her mobility is poor.
When in hospital she was diagnosed with dementia.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am quite worried about her being on her own.
I don't think she is capable of cooking, etc.
It has been arranged that another friend will pop in daily after her work( around about 11am) to make sure she is okay and get her some daily provisions.
My s-i-l had been going her shopping, walking the dog, etc for her every day before she was hospitalised but she has now started a course and wont be seeing her daily.
Her second cousin and the friend who is now helping out( for a wage) only ever saw her for about an hour a week and I dont really think they realise how bad she was even before she was hospitalised.
My question is do any of you, especially those with experience of dementia, have any idea who I would speak to if I think she needs more help or is in danger, eg would I contact her GP or social services,etc?
BTW the fact she is elderly isn't affecting my view, it is her mental state/confusion that is worrying me...she forgets she has fed her dog, fed herself, who has visited her,etc

[Lozzles]

I think I would speak to the cousin first and let her know your concerns. If you don't get any joy there then maybe contact the GP via mail, letting him know why you are concerned.

[meriad]

What a worry for everyone. Not exactly sure who the contact would be, but first port of call I'd have thought would be her GP who in turn should get social services involved who in turn would arrange for either something like meals on wheels or a daily carer to come and look after Ruth.

Good luck

[jenniren]

Shaz my mother was diagnosed by our local Memory Clinic (Old Age Psychiatry Dept) attached to the hospital and I've always dealt with the Community Mental Health team. Assuming your mum's friend was also diagnosed by a psychiatric consultant that would be my first port of call. They can and should arrange a suitable care package. In some areas that duty is passed on to a social worker, but I'd start with the hospital first.

[Kaz]

Ecellent advice here already Shaz, but just wanted to add my good wishes for this lady and her little dog (((((x)))))

Hope either the GP or the Social Service can help xx

[cromwell]

Poor lady. WD Shaz for looking out for her. It might not just be dementia, there are physical conditions that can cause memory loss and confusion; I too would think the GP is the first port of call, but SS need to know as well.

[shazsha]

Thanks everyone.
When Ruth was first taken into hospital she had a chest and urine infection which they thought was causing her confusion. However, gradually over the last few months, she has been getting more forgetful and we suspected it was dementia. Apparently the hospital confirmed this to her cousin and then proceeded to allow her home without any care/follow up plan in place.
When she came home today there were a few visitors but I'm worried about when she is left alone...
It seriously annoys me that any vulnerable person can be discharged from a hospital with no input from SS.

[Kaz]

Yes, that's not good at all

[Diflower]

Shaz I'm afraid however many times we hear that 'something must be done', the system is a dreadful shambles

It could be a bit tricky, since you're not related, to speak to her GP or anyone else in authority. You might need to get the second cousin to help, but I think social services would be able to advise if not actually help. Or maybe online on the dementia website?
Citizens advice bureau?

[KateLMead]

Hi Shaz.. my neighbour is in her 80's her family dont live that far away they rarely visit, they arranged that the community nurses would call "and they do four times a day" I think one does this through a persons doctor who would point you in the right direction..