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A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 11:00
by meriad
Sorry, this is a bit long winded so please bear with me...

I received an email yesterday from someone who runs a cat rescue and who I have had two or three dealings with in the past. The lady in question 'G' is - for want of any other words - a very very odd lady and in all honesty not someone I could ever see myself being friends with.

The email said that apparently the rescue she runs has been bequeathed a VERY substantial amount of money; in the forms of a one off large donation and then a regular annual amount; again quite large I understand. The condition attached to receiving the money is that it has to be used for cat rescue (and then if funds left and the rescue grows to expand to other animals). Now, one of the main issues within the UK (and other parts of the world of course as well, but this is dealing with the UK only for now) is the vast number of feral cat populations, often exacerbated by people dumping unneutered cats. If a dumped domestic mom cat and her first litter is caught in time then those kittens and mom generally can be rehomed quite easily. But once that first generation has been bought up 'wild' and in the open they will not know human contact and from then onwards they'd be classed as feral and their kittens even more so, and it's actually quite hard - and depending on the age of the animal even impossible - to capture them and socialise them for rehoming. There are quite a few rescues that run a TNR programme already (trap neuter return) to try and keep the feral population in check, but as with most funds are very limited and the impact is minimal in some situations. But what this rescue is proposing to do with the money is to establish two mobile clinics that will tour up and down the country and do free neutering 9to start with for cats only) for anyone and everyone; working with other charities helping them in their TNR programmes, but most importantly trying to education the people why they should neuter and then do it for free.

In this email G has asked to meet with me as she'd like me to be involved with this new project / trust / charity (not sure what the set up would be) and I'd really love to as I 100% support the idea and have always said if I won the lottery I'd do exactly the same.... but I just cannot see myself working with G. I can't pin point what it is about her she's just very odd. So whilst my heart says go speak to them and see what it's about as it really is something I believe in very strongly and find out just what my involvement would be, my head is screaming at me to stay well away and that I'll regret ever letting G into any part of life. She's really pushy and won't take no for an answer and I more or less worry that if I did get involved I'd be selling my soul to the devil.

And it doesn't help that someone else I know who runs a rescue and who I have a lot of respect for has had run in's with G as well and also - for very good reasons - doesn't hold her in high regard.

What to do?

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 11:03
by cromwell
Go with your instinct and say no thanks politely but firmly. Take a while to think up a good reason like you don't have enough time, but definitely say no.

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 11:13
by Aggers
I agree with Cromwell.

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 11:38
by Workingman
I also agree with Cromwell. Your head has already made its mind up, let it guide you on this one.

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 11:42
by Lozzles
I also think you have made your mind up Ria. Trust your instinct and I bet in the future there will be other chances to work with kitty cats :D xxx

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 12:42
by Suff
The wonderful thing about advice is it is for giving and not for living….. So in the end it’s your choice Ria.

What I would say is that every time I’ve ignored or gone against a strong instinct with people; it’s been a train wreck, which I’ve had to extricate myself from.

Then again the number of times I haven’t had the instinct and it’s been a train wreck is also not insignificant. Mrs S says that my instincts on people are not very good but I must admit the life experience tends to bring a better perspective and this happens less and less now.

Now if you want to know how I’d go about it, nowadays, I would do this.

Work out what it would mean to my life in terms of family, commitment, finances and free time/holidays.

Work out if the offer would be worthwhile for me overall or an imposition.

If the above were positive and I still wanted to go forward, but had misgivings. I would have a solid written legal contract drawn up to ensure that any position I took in the project was protected and had rules around it.

You can always work with someone you don’t like. You can work with people you like but drive you mad. But there is always a cost associated with that and it comes in terms of your own health and wellbeing.

That’s how I’d approach it. I know it’s analytical, but that’s just me. I’m sure you’ll make a common sense approach to it and decision in the end.

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 14:43
by Ally
I'm a huge believer in instinct Ria..go with yours. xxx

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 14:52
by meriad
Thanks everyone.... i need to give this some serious thought as it's something I'd really like to be involved in, but I know I'll struggle with the person running the show :(

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 15:14
by pederito1
On a brief consideration I think it would be one of Suff`s train wrecks to entertain it.

Re: A bit of a quandry....

PostPosted: 20 Mar 2013, 16:02
by Fugitive
Walk away Meriad!