Vocal Voices

... the Falklands War, when we flew that Vulcan bomber all the way down to the South Atlantic and they released photos afterwards showing it had carpet bombed the runway at Stanley airfield?

Well, since we had the paving stones to the front door jet-washed last Sunday, a damned pigeon has peformed a similar flypast down the length of the pathway and scored at least three direct hits.

The Ack-Ack guns are being installed on the garage roof tomorrow .....

just wait until the berries are ripe and then you get purple tinged hits... and the purple stains!

get a cat - they'll keep the pigeon away

Oh dear

Pigeons ossie we have seagulls
And the alcoholic neighbour's feed them

My old mate Zeta (age 93) had every tech imaginable - DVD, Sky, broadband, microwave.

One day we were watching The Ashes when there was a noise in the kitchen. When we went in there was a huge, and I mean HUGE, splat on the window.

"Oh poor thing" says Zeta "I sometimes have bowel movements like that."

Did you count them out Ossie, then count them back?

Oh I counted them alright .... five more and I'll have the principal ingredient ....

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/pige ... mble-gravy

Pet Falcon Ossie. Never see them again Hawks they are wary of, Falcons, gone!

That reminds me of a particularly disastrously funny episode of The Brittas Empire - a very underrated comedy in my book - where Brittas (played by the extremely funny Chris Barrie) decided to get in a bird of prey, to get rid of a pigeon problem in the sports centre he managed....... Pure genius