Vocal Voices

by **Workingman** » 29 Mar 2020, 19:28

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Sauvignon Blanc.

Sauvignon Blanc is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Sauvignon Blanc almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living.

Sauvignon Blanc may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Short term side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, surprise incontinence events in public places, belief that pouring a balti curry down your front is the height of fashion and you will also have a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister. They are, however, temporary and many never remember having them.

WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may make you think you can converse enthusiastically with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

At these difficult times the expert scientific advice is that the benefits far outweigh any short term side effects or longer term mawkishness.

by **cromwell** » 30 Mar 2020, 10:15

Somebody is certainly taking this advice around here and I reckon it's the local ladies. Because there wasn't a bottle of white wine to be had in the Sainsbury's local last night. Some red, but no white!

by **Workingman** » 30 Mar 2020, 11:35

From what I remember of t'Theatre Club the 'ladies' of Wakey don't need a crisis as an excuse... way ahead of the game, that lot, way ahead.

by **Kaz** » 31 Mar 2020, 09:19

Hexcuuuse me, I attended that hestablishment several times in the late '70s! The rumours of my getting completely ratted on Creme Dr Menthe frappes are wicked lies

I saw Tommy Cooper live there, he was hilarious, and completely took out a very misguided heckler! Class 8-)

by **cromwell** » 01 Apr 2020, 09:34

I worked at the Theatre Club in 1975 as a summer job. Behind the bar mostly but once on the spotlights when Marvin, Welch and Farrar were playing. I saw a few good acts there.
I also saw Tommy Cooper live Kaz, but at the Sheffield Crucible. Brilliant!

by **Workingman** » 01 Apr 2020, 10:22

It was the bedrock for entertainment up here along with Batley Varieties for such as Tommy, Les Dawson, Mike Harding, Monkhouse, The Motown Tour as there was no suitable venue in Leeds or Bradford - maybe the Alhambra. Happy Days.

by **cromwell** » 01 Apr 2020, 11:19

They were. I was told a story about Tommy Cooper playing the Theatre Club.
Tommy liked a drink or three and after a good session when he'd done his last act of the week the people at the Theatre Club carried him into the back of a cab and directed the driver to take him home to London. Half way down the M1 Tommy wakes up and asks where he is."On your way home Tommy" says the driver.
"That's no good" says Tommy "I'm on in Liverpool tonight!" :lol: